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How to Trust Again After a Cheating Ex

It’s safe to say we’ve all been hurt in the past right? Especially in past relationships. In fact, I’m sure most of us have been in a relationship with a cheating, no good, soul destroying man (or woman).

Doesn’t feel very good does it? You can probably still feel the pain this person inflicted on you even if you’ve moved on and are happy in your current relationship.

But here’s the thing, I get countless messages from ladies who say they have moved on but actually haven’t because there’s still a wound not healed and its affecting their current relationship.

It’s not always easy to heal but we have to figure it out because it could be costing us the relationships we hold so dear. Not to mention, how we feel about ourselves.

How we feel about ourselves is SOOOOO important. If you know anything about me and the TLC message, you’ll know this quote I like to say often.

The relationship you have with yourself sets the foundation for the relationships you have with others. Click To Tweet

But that’s so hard when how we feel about ourself is tied to how others have treated us. *Cough Cough* … Ex’s…

It’s safe to say we need to get this “shit on lock” so we can begin to feel good and know how to embrace the good relationships around us.

Does that sound good?

After this video, make sure you take advantage of the comment section, that is where I will be around should you have any questions!

About the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and BREATHES her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life WITHOUT mastering the art of relationships!

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11 Comments

  • You said 3 words on how I’m protecting myself. I’ve been trying to lose a little weight, and each time I have a little success, I self sabotage and the weight goes right back up. I feel I do this so I’m not desirable to men, because if I was, it would mean being vulnerable to love as you mentioned, & in a way this keeps me from that. Weird huh. I want to reach goals, but I’m also really scared to. I was never enough for my ex-partner (who cheated many times but told me he loved me). I’m so confident in so many other aspects of my life but this is one I can’t seem to get over the hurdle.

    • The reason why you “self-sabotage” is because you don’t love your body NOW. If your goal isn’t connected to a greater WHY it will never feel good to you and not worth it. You can’t lose weight because it will be more desirable for men… You have to lose weight because you LOVE your body and want it to be the healthiest it can be. If you don’t love where are you now, nothing will make you feel better in the future and you will always self-sabotage. Honey, you are beautiful and completely worthy of love NOW, so create a life starting from that space first. XOXO

  • I was cheated on in a past relationship and thoughts are now creeping into my head that my current boyfriend will and is cheating on me. I find myself sometimes checking his phone to see if he has messages from other girls, notice that he has his phone face down alot (he says that this is habit), and checking messenger/whatsap to see when he was ‘online’ last, and then wondering who he was talking too. The female mind does like to overthink things and make up things that just is not there!! But the past couple of weeks I have stopped doing all this and made myself trust and love him completely and live in the moment fully. This has certainly made a difference to my mannerisms towards him and i am not as standoffish. I am just find it hard to trust again and not be so suspicious.

    • Hi Kylie, thank you for commenting. So happy you have stopped playing detective on your boyfriend. The more we try to protect ourselves from pain, the more pain we will cause. It’s better to trust and be hurt than to hurt yourself everyday because you can’t trust. XO

  • Iv had an ex partner cheat on me and I forgave a million times and my forgiveness was still stomped on with more hurt.
    Iv finally walked away but the pain is still there and that is following me to new realtionships. I compare things to my bad experience.

    I have a lot of Self hate which then pushes people that are close to me away. Which then they feel hurt. Even though that is not what I intend to do.

    I’m Scared to feel happy and good in a relationship and I’m always putting a downer on everything.
    I always feel like they have another agender or are up to something.
    I feel like I don’t even know how to be happy because when I find it in myself it’s gone again.

  • I am afraid to call the guys back now that I meet because I am fearful that I will attract the same type of guy. The guy who hurt my heart and took advantage of contacted me a few weeks and told me he made a mistake and choose the wrong woman. I told him I still did not want to see him and thought this would make me feel better but it didn’t.

  • Please no haters! I have actually cheated on my husband 3 times. I have never slept with anyone else, but kissed and sent inappropriate messages which is enough. I feel so terrible about what I have done and I feel unbelievably blessed & grateful that I have a very forgiving husband. This has all come about very recently & so feelings and emotions are still very fresh. We have done so much talking since it all came out and we both now realise that we had been neglecting our marriage for quite some time (not that that excuses what I did), but it has definitely taught me just how important communication is! We both now know what we both want and need in our relationship to make us work. I hope we both now have the strength to get passed this. I realised the hard way that I dont want to lose my one and only!

    • Thank you so much for sharing Mel! It’s so important to communicate what each other NEEDS in the relationship. I’m so happy you both are taking steps forward to repair and understand what you both need to do to make each other feel loved and WANTED. Your story is definitely necessary for people to hear so I honor you for sharing it. All my love! XO

  • 3 ways I’m protecting myself,
    1….I won’t call him my boyfriend.
    2….I don’t talk to people about him
    3….I probably don’t admit I like him as much as I do.
    I guess I’m afraid of admitting how I feel incase it all goes wrong.
    I was engaged last year and he called it all of say ‘he wasn’t ready’ so if that could happen then who’s to say it won’t happen again. which i know is incredibly unfair of me to judge my current ‘boyfriend’ by my ex’s standards

  • I feel like i’m always being lied to. Or that i have to dig for the truth about something… So i protect myself by not giving myself fully into the relationship. I know I’ve been holding back. I feel like I always need to be aware of when I might get hurt so I can protect myself from it happening. I don’t let myself let go of the past. πŸ™ It so sucks and I hate being stuck in this rut.

  • I have been cheated on by my last 2 exes and I have been in a new relationship for over 2 years.We met online which also concerns me because I wonder if hes on there looking for other chicks. Some days are good and other days I question everything he does. His phone is a problem to me, he doesn’t even have any social media but I can’t help but wonder who he is texting or what site he is looking at. I try not to ask because I don’t want to be that girl. I know he talks to his kids a lot and family. We live about an hour away and because of our jobs we only see each other once a week. So, when I am with him it bothers me hes on his phone. He does look up football and stuff a lot but I still question in my mind what hes doing on it. I don’t think I have that gut feeling that he is doing something wrong, ( like i had in the past) but I just have the fear of it happening and sometimes I can’t tell if its just that (fear) or if my instincts are telling me something. He knows how much I had been hurt from cheating. He has been hurt from cheating before too. I want to be positive and look to the future with us but I can’t shake the past.

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