We all know the power of setting goals, aligning with a vision and getting our groove on to do all we can to make that shit happen.
It feels good to hit our goals, celebrate our wins, tick it off the list, set a more expansive one and get moving again – but what happens when we pour our whole heart into goals we think we’re going to nail, and they don’t quite happen?
When we’re doing all we can to make our goals happen; reciting our affirmations, thanking the Universe in advance, giving the comfort zone a good workout, showing the hell up more than ever before – it can feel quite deflating and disappointing when we pull up a little, or a lot, short of the target.
When we don’t quite get there, it’s easy for our ego to go to town on confirming crappy stories like “I told you so!”, “I knew you weren’t going to get it”, “Stick to your day job pal”. It will use this time to get high on the idea that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, we don’t know what we’re doing and how dare we ask for more? Sounds familiar, right?
So if you’re currently working towards a goal that still feels miles away, or you’ve just missed the mark this month then let these 5 check-ins keep you elevated, excited and out of your head:
1. Ask yourself, “Is it my Soul that’s disappointed, or my Ego?”
This is a biggie, and I found myself asking the same question recently without really liking my answer to it. Achieving goals requires radical self-awareness, especially when we can sometimes be seeking them from a place of attachment, or needing validation and confirmation that we are successful and enough.
If you really asked your soul what truly mattered, would it be about getting the goal? Would it be the cash? Would it be the shiny certificate? Would it be the recognition and the cheers? Or would your soul be more proud of the stretching, the self-expression, the connection and impact, the joy and passion you feel when you wake up in the morning, and for just showing the hell up and being in the arena in the first place?
It’s great to have big goals, but make sure you’re setting them from your soul, not your ego. And remember that you’re already awesome and enough, goal or no goal.
Check-in number 1 – If the numbers meant absolutely nothing, would you still be going for it? Is this truly a soul goal?
2. Throw an “I didn’t get my Goal” party.
Because not getting your goals calls for celebrating too! Instead of hunting down all the reasons why you suck and all the things you didn’t do – how about drawing your attention to celebrating all the small wins and things you did do along the way.
“Hey I didn’t get the book deal – but I’m really proud of myself for writing my first draft, sharing my ideas with someone new and scoring that speaking gig!”
“Ok – the date went really bad – but I’m proud of myself for putting myself out there, for being nervous and going anyway, for speaking my truth, for knowing I’m worthy of only the best and for not giving up!”
“OK – I didn’t get to my goal weight, but I did create a new gym routine that I love, and I did make a bunch of new friends at that spin class, and I did show up every day, and I did encourage the person next to me to keep going, and I did say no to the extra cake this week.”
Check-in number 2 – Goal or no goal, what are your really proud of yourself for?
3. Remember that it’s never about the goal, it’s always about the feeling behind the goal that you’re hoping for.
Do you really want to have a 6-pack? Or do you actually just want to feel sexy and confident? Do you really want to be a number-1 best-selling author? Or do you just want to be in the joy of writing, of creating something you care about, and for your words to hit the hearts of those who need your light? Do you actually want to be a millionaire, or do you just want to feel more supported, at peace and carefree?
As Danielle Laporte teaches best, if you get clear on how you actually want to feel, you’ll realize that you have the power to feel that way right now just by simply reorganizing and re-prioritising a few things in your life that align with the way you most want to feel.
Check-in number 3 – How do you actually want to feel?
4. Open your eyes and look for the ways your goal has manifested in different forms because maybe the Universe has a better plan.
An example of this was when I was launching the second round of my online course, and I’d written down a lucky number – 35 – as my goal number of new students I wanted to support and serve through the course that month. I was so set on it, and could feel it coming, but then due to certain circumstances I had to postpone the course that month. Thinking I’d failed, I soon started seeing a bunch of amazing new people coming into my life through my business in other ways – coaching, yoga, essential oil workshops, and without it even crossing my mind as a possibility, that month I welcomed 35 new women into my Essential Oils Sisterhood. Turns out the Universe was paying attention.
This is a great exercise to do if you’re going for an income goal and you’re laser focused on it coming a certain way. Maybe you’ve already hit your target, but because you were so focused on it coming a certain way, you didn’t pay attention to and acknowledge the flow elsewhere in your life.
Check-in number 4 – How has this goal manifested in different ways than ‘my way’?
5. Take note of the signs that it’s coming.
You know those little winks from the Universe that are just casually reminding you that what you want is on its way to you now? Please know that your goal and your vision is already in your energy field – so celebrate the ways that the Universe keeps showing you that it’s getting closer. Those people that have achieved what it is you want, celebrate them. Those that have generated and created the abundance and lifestyle that you are seeking, thank them for showing you it’s possible for you too. The little coincidences, certain songs on the radio, number plates, street signs, people that cross your path that all point to the goal you’re working towards? They aren’t there by chance, they are a confirmation and a reminder that yours is coming, so just freakin’ relax.
Check-in number 5 – Celebrate the signs and know that it’s on its way to you now.
The truth is that we often learn more about ourselves at the times when we don’t quite hit the mark, then the times that we do, and that certainly has been the case for me the past couple of months.
Goals are a great bullseye to channel our creative energy into, but when you come off a little shorter than expected, just tune in and remember that it’s truly never been about the goal.
It’s always about the journey of growing into it that’s going to be the most fun and adventure-filled part of all. So take a breath out, stop taking yourself so bloody seriously and remember that the fastest way to your goals is always by having more fun.