Read Spirituality & Self Love

Exude Courage Not by Being Fearless, But By Confronting Inner-Monsters

During times in our lives when we feel helpless and defeated, we may express anger at “God” for not coming to our rescue in some capacity. This might be anger at God in a personal way, such as feeling victimized by family or associates or, a more dissociated anger to God’s supposed abandonment of the world itself.

The questions are common.

“If there is a God, why doesn’t he save abused, starving, war-torn children?”
“Why does he let his children rage and kill each other in war?”
“Why has God abandoned me?”

Here’s what you may not expect next, I’m not going to gloss over these questions with common metaphysical answers such as:

“They have their own journey.”
“You chose this path.”
“It’s their karma.”

or, the ever-popular,
“God didn’t abandon you, you abandoned God.”

No, because while these sentiments may reflect higher, philosophical notions of personal responsibility and self-empowerment, these same explanations might well invalidate and spiritually bypass your deeper emotions of anger, abandonment, rejection and loneliness that desperately need to be flushed out, processed and released first.

Besides, let’s face it, if you are struggling with deep primal emotions and wounded ego-strength, you might not be ready to have a discussion on deeper philosophical concepts surrounding your eternal soul path. Instead, you are probably experiencing a deep sense of impotence in the face of an unseen, monumental, peace-destroying monster that you are deathly afraid to fight.

Validating your inner angry monster will eventually bring lasting peace.

Far beneath the surface, there may be deeply repressed invalidated anger, overwhelming powerlessness and a loss of voice that once was your will to fight and overcome injustice. Here, invalidated emotion needs to be brought to the surface, given its voice back, validated, expressed and processed in order for you to take charge and fight for your life.

Feelings of emotional invalidation often initially stem from emotional abandonment by a caretaker. Here, our idea of “God” begins; where the parent figure represents the God or Savior Archetype in our deep subconscious. Moving into adulthood, our internal framework of “God” may be a direct reflection of the dysfunctional abandoning parent.

When my children had conflict and wanted a resolution from me, I would tell them to come to an agreement to present for discussion instead of accusing one another and expecting me to enforce punishment. Then when terms were negotiated and anger resolved, some sort of fair atonement would be reached.

As children, we are expected at some point to become adults and fight our own fights. Does that mean we are without the legacy of divine strength and nurture? No, certainly not.

This God/Goddess (insert whatever your version of your Higher Power is here) wants you to learn to fight your own fights.

There is, however, an advice hotline.

Picture this, you are 35 years old and receive an unjust review from an employer. Do you write up a counter statement outlining the points where your employer might have overlooked the work you accomplished? Or, do you call your dad and have him come to your work and rent your employer in pieces in front of the staff?

A better alternative here might be calling on divine nurture in the form of phoning dad, who has 40 years of work experience, to ask for guidance. Taking his words combined with your knowledge of the situation on the ground now helps you create the best line of resolution.

For us to become spiritual adults is not to be immobilized by fear, do nothing, and have God rescue us every time we get into a jam.

This is enabling, crippling and a temporary measure at best.

We do not grow in times of peace as much as we grow in times of challenge or battle.

We can not, if we expect to grow, continually deflect growth responsibilities onto a rescuing supernatural being. Am I minimizing spiritual events where miracles happen and mountains are moved? Am I belittling the joy of a continual communion with a higher sense of divine love? Certainly not.

I am shining a light on those times where divine intervention steps back in an act of divine-tough-love for our own growth and expansion. We’re not talking Fire & Brimstone tough love. We’re talking about, “I know you can do it, and I believe in you.” tough love. Too often this crucial message is misinterpreted as,“God has abandoned me.” and the cycle of fear, self-pity and victim mentality continues.

Many believe they do not have enough courage to speak up for themselves or make right the injustice in their lives.

They believe that in order to have courage they must be fearless–not so.

Courage is the act of doing what is necessary even though you are very afraid.

Take ownership of your fears in the battles of life; battles that are most certainly a reflection of your deep internal fears. Own those fears, look at them straight in the eye and face your weakness. This is not easy or comfortable. However, once you have conquered and actually befriended that monster, you will never have to face that particular fear again.

About the author

Zen Rose Garden

Meet The Zen Rose Garden Team Heather Kim Rodriguez, PhD & David A. Caren, CHt About Heather Kim Rodriguez, PhD & David A. Caren, CHt Helping PEOPLE Grow! Zen Rose Garden is dedicated to the healing, empowerment & self-realization of the individual on all levels.

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