Ok, I don’t think JT will ever transition his career into coaching as I’m sure he’s quite happy with the millions he makes being an artist, and besides the simple fact that I love Justin Timberlake, I will tell you why I think his song “Mirror” is relevant in today’s lesson.
How many times do you see people who are in relationships not ACT like they are in a relationship?
In essence, casting a shadow of their relationship to others that may be perceived as either shallow or non-existent. Now, I do agree, what outside people see and what is true are two different things but how different really?
I am not going to lie I have witnessed countless people act completely different when they are not with their spouse. In the end, other people’s perceptions don’t really matter but if you have people second guessing if you are in a relationship or not, that perception should matter a bit right?
Now back to the point of the song “Mirror,” Justin Timberlake sings of something I feel resonated deep. Yes, I know this song is probably annoying to you all because of how many times they play it on the radio but bear with me, please! The word that stood out to me in this song was reflection. I found that word so remarkable because that is exactly the word I think about when you are in a deep, committed relationship.
Personally, my partner Andrew and I have two very different personalities. I am a social butterfly, while he is a very calm introvert. Although our social takes are different, I still know that if we are not together at times I will always reflect him; the depth of our relationship; and what our relationship means to me. Does this mean you can’t go out and have a good time, hang with friends or go out dancing with your girls? No, but it does mean you should naturally create a space of respect for your partner.
You are not only reflecting that person but also your relationship. The way you talk about your relationship; the way you act; and the way you make that person feel should always be out of a place of love and respect. When I say you must create a natural space of respect, your actions of love and respect should be second nature, and if it’s not, really think about the way you could be reflecting your relationship.
Ask yourself these questions:
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What are the common things I talk about to friends, family or others regarding my relationship? Is it mostly positive or negative?
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When I go out, do I represent my partner appropriately?
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Do I catch myself needing some kind of attention from others with or without my partner?
Really take the time to understand your actions as a “partner of love.” If you find that maybe you haven’t acted appropriately, do a deep search into why you think that could be. For example, is there a need in this relationship you are not getting? Are you acting out because of a problem in your relationship? Or, is this relationship something you don’t want anymore?
Well, I do know that the best way to fix the problem is to dig deep first then communicate this to, no other than, your partner! As we’ve discussed before, in order to be N’Sync (sorry I had to.. Haha!!) with our relationships, we have to communicate our needs to the person we are with!
If we want to practice having strong relationships we need to be able to look deep within ourselves and question the actions we take especially if our actions are not a positive reflection of our relationships.
Now in the words of JT!:
“Girl (or boy for us girls) you’re my reflection,
All I see is you
My reflection,
In everything I do
XO,
Christal
