These things could be costing you your business, your relationship, and your health.
If you don’t know… Relationships are everything. If you have a job, you are in a relationship. If you have a family, you are in a relationship. If you have a dog or cat, you are in a relationship (sounds kinda creepy but it’s true)… If you are living… you are in a relationship.
Life is one big happy relationship… or, it should be most of the time. But we do have some great ways to ruin this relationship without even knowing we are and when we do this, we cause unnecessary pain and frustration in our lives.
Here are the 5 ways you could be F***ing UP a relationship:
1. Bringing negative energy into the room
Energy is everything. And I truly believe energy is the fuel to passion AND beautiful relationships. If you are constantly showing up with a negative and restricted energy, it is not only damaging to the relationships around you but more so to YOURSELF. Negative energy is a passion Killer… and we don’t want to kill that beautiful Passion.
2. Looking for bad intentions in people
Do you, or maybe someone you know, always feels like someone is out to get you? Where no matter what another person does, you think they have some bad intention or reasoning that it leaves you always feeling skeptical? I see this often with couples and friendships but the workplace is notorious for this as well.
Who in the hell wants to constantly be questioned about their intentions? Not me, and the truth is, when we look for bad intentions in people, we begin to victimize ourselves which is a very selfish trait. And yes, a sure way to ruin any relationship.
3. Making up shit that isn’t real (stories / beliefs about yourself and others)
Making things up could be a beautiful and creative trait if you are in the art’s but it definitely doesn’t work in relationships… especially if your made up reality is one that is disempowering to you or anyone of your relationships. Do you catch yourself saying something close to the following?:
“There aren’t any good guys out there.”
“My husband didn’t hug me when he came in… I think we are becoming distant…Is he seeing someone else? ”
“Suzy didn’t help me at work today. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.”
All these stories create thoughts that turn into feelings that turn into negative energy.
4. Putting yourself down
Your thoughts become the energy you bring. When there is a lack of love flowing internally, there will always be a lack of love flowing externally. Every single one of us has beautiful gifts, qualities and a purpose, and although we may not always make the best decisions, there is no reason to live in punishment forever. Make sure your self-thoughts have the intention to serve your most powerful energy.
5. Doing things for the wrong reason
Here are some questions to think about…
- Are you always finding ways to please people that sometimes it leaves you drained with no time for yourself?
- Are a successful lady who has worked your ass off to get to where you are, but still feel there is a lack of passion?
- Could you be someone who is in a relationship because you feel being with someone is better than being alone?
- Are you in business because you want to prove yourself or live up to someone’s expectation of you?
Personally, I used to be a people pleaser to the extreme. In some weird way, I thought “pleasing” people “helping” people … which holds some truth especially since my passion was to “help” people, but the real truth wasn’t that pretty. The truth was, I desperately wanted to feel good enough! I loved hearing that praise/ recognition, and I certainly got a lot out of it, but that “feel good feeling” was very temporary.
I was constantly out of energy and felt I needed to keep giving my time and energy away in order to feel good enough… almost like an addiction. I quickly realized I was pleasing people for the wrong reasons….. but the discovery part is also the powerful part… if you do something with it. I slowly started setting more and more boundaries and allowed myself permission to live for me.
We have all been guilty of some… if not all the crimes I’ve listed but it’s not about being right or wrong, it’s about growing from it in a way that encourages love. And if you can do this, you will be on a solid path to powerful and passionate relationships, starting with yourself!
XOXO,
