Making Sense of Men: A Woman’s Guide to a Lifetime of Love, Care and Attention from All Men

by Christal Fuentes

Do you remember last week’s TLC Thursday?

We talked briefly about how “communication” is one of the major keys to a successful relationship, but the problem isn’t that we aren’t communicating, the problem is that we don’t know how to communicate with our significant other in a way they understand.

Well, this week! I am bringing you one of the biggest teachers in the game regarding this area! She has written countless books and has taught many couples the art of intimate relationships. Some of the biggest influences of our time (or at least my personal hero’s) reference to her work because it’s just that good! She helps both men and women understand how to connect to the beautiful differences each partner was born with… (no I’m not talking physical differences duh!) I’m talking the natural ways we communicate that often gets lost in translation.

Let me introduce you to Alison Armstrong. I can’t tell you how much grief you will be saving yourself just by reading one of her books (she has like 100 though)… and if you’re lucky, getting to one of her events! It will leave you feeling completely empowered to
connect to your relationship on a deeper level. Not to mention, leaving you and your man feeling understood… and that’s what we want right? Ok, so make sure you check this book out!

It’s seriously such an easy and quick read with a TREASURE chest of knowledge!

This is a bold statement but must be said… as far as Intimate Relationships go… she has close to all the answers haha!! I’ve said it! Now go give this a read!

Get your copy

Making Sense of Men: A Woman's Guide to a Lifetime of Love, Care and Attention from All Men

Price: $24.99

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about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

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Leslie Monroy SAYS:

My partner never expresses love to me, he thinks that being an adult, I shouldn’t need affection like he expresses to the children. Im very in tune with my emotions and express love to everyone but especially to him and I never see it in return. He claims that by providing for me a home and food on the table is his way of expressing love to me. He doesn’t seem to understand how simple it is to show me affection and make me feel wanted and thought about throughout the day. Inexpensive hugs or texts and a kiss here and there is all I crave from him.

Christal Fuentes SAYS:

Thank you for sharing that Leslie, I believe that all of us have good intentions for our relationships but we are conditioned in very different ways on how love is supposed to be shown. It’s so great that you are aware of the differences you and your partner have and by the sound of it, he DOES have good intentions for the relationship. Providing, is how most men KNOW to show love… does that mean you’re not entitled to the love and affection you desire? NO! But communicating your needs in the relationship is the first part, but here’s the thing… The way we communicate our needs to our partner can come off like he’s not doing enough and that will just leave him feeling frustrated and may make him want to GIVE UP.
The only reason it seems he’s more affection with the kids is because he knows he can’t go wrong with them. He knows he won’t get back lash for the affection he shows them, whereas maybe with you, he may feel he’s doesn’t know how to be affectionate with you in the right way so there’s a build up of insecurity. So your goal is to be an empowering coach. Let him know when you appreciate him most. Let him know when he shows you attention in the way you like.
Its easy for us to point out the wrong our partner does but we often forget to praise our partners when they do something right. And when we praise, they are ore inclined and empowered to do it more. Remember, GOOD men just want to make us happy… It just gets lost in translation when they think there are too many RULES to make you happy.
PS: I think Alison Armstrong will be such a great teacher for you and I am so excited to send you a copy of her book! I will have my team get in touch with you this week to get your details!
XO!

Sherryn SAYS:

I have made a conscious decision not to enter in to an intimate relationship until I find within myself what I’m searching for in a partner as I believe your partner is a reflection of yourself. So I’m working on myself and I wouldn’t really call it a struggle but more of a challenge 🙂

Christal Fuentes SAYS:

Thats beautiful Sherryn, but my advice to you would be to STOP working on yourself and start BEING yourself. You don’t need fixing you just need to BE… which is what I believe you are doing. When we allow ourselves to BE, thats when true growth happens, which = GREAT Challenges! <3

AB SAYS:

Recently I feel like I’ve found a good man. I know this sounds weird but I don’t know what to do! Lol I’ve JUST become comfortable with being by myself. I finally stopped looking & just started enjoying life. Out of nowhere someone I met but didn’t really know in college starts conversing with me. I don’t really want a relationship but he’s the definition of a great guy. He will be a great father/husband. Plus I’m kinda still stuck on someone I shouldn’t be. Plus plus, he’s a nurse & I’m in school to be a doctor. I don’t have a problem with it, but I don’t want problems later on with masculinity & pride issues.

Christal Fuentes SAYS:

Thats great AB! I think its beautiful that you are becoming a Doctor! You GO GIRL! Just remember that is only a title of a position you hold in your career that holds no hierarchy in relationships. The only reason it does in particular relationships is because the EGO likes to get the best of us.
Now, here’s the deal, you aren’t a psychic, so placing assumptions in the air of what “could” happen won’t serve you at this point especially since you are feeling GOOD with this man right now! My advice would be to let go of the expectations you have of how a relationship “should” be and allow yourself to constantly live by what FEELS good to you.
Seems like you are doing that now, so I encourage to keep that up! You have an internal compass that will always help you along the way just tune in. The internal compass is all about guiding you to your core desires. So let go of assumptions and expectations…
This could be hard for the Dr. mind in you haha! But this will be a great spiritual challenge and if I know anything about the brilliance in you, is that you love a good challenge. So keep feeling good with this man babe, and remember that the masculinity/femininity of a relationship is not tied to a career UNLESS we are bringing opposite energies home… which could be a problem in your future but hey, a problem for most of us especially if we are women tied to our careers, but if we remember to allow our men to be the MAN at home, they will take care of us in ways we couldn’t…. which will give you more energy to fuel all the things important.
XO

Anissa SAYS:

Wow! Thank you so much. I really appreciate that advice. Probably the best, most genuine advice I’ve ever gotten.
And thank you girl!!! Lol I have to represent for all the women in the medical field. 🙂

BobbySue SAYS:

we have been married almost 12 years and my husband has gotten to where any sexual encounter we looks like it came out of a hard core porn movie. No foreplay just straight to penetration. I have tried explaining to him that I need touch like the hugs from behind, kisses on my neck, touching may body in more places then just my genitalia, etc.
When we first got together he was an amazing passionate lover but now says he isn’t into that part any more & with out that I feel empty

Christal Fuentes SAYS:

Hi BobbySue! I would 100% check out to my friend and world renowned Sexologist Jaiya Ma she has LOADS of advice regarding couples intimacy and talks about the archetypes of sexuality which you can find out more about here: http://theladies.wpengine.com/self/femininity/jaiya-ma-on-how-she-does-sexuality/
But usually guys are more of the SEXUAL archetype (not all just most) as you sound like you are more SENSUAL archetype… partners sexual type is always different but the goal is to give each other what your partner needs. What I learned from Jaiya is we often go through stages where our archetypes will change but we can’t force our partners to have the same sexual desires as us, the goal is to open that communication (which you semi did) and give each other what each other wants.
My partner is also Sexual and I’m sensual so we have to play in between both haha! I’d suggest finding fun and creative ways that will meet BOTH of your needs <3 <3 <3 But make sure you check out http://missjaiya.com/ You will LOOOVE her!

Making Sense of Men: A Woman’s Guide to a Lifetime of Love, Care and Attention from All Men