Ways We Actively Choose NOT to Feel Happy

Ways We Actively Choose NOT to Feel Happy

by Danijela Jokic Vaislay

Different emotions are preceded by different sets of thoughts. That means that certain thoughts are the trigger of certain emotions.

In order to understand this better, we are going to dissect emotions and connect them with triggering thoughts:
  • We may feel angry when something or someone is preventing us from achieving our goals.
  • Sadness could be preceded by the thought that something or someone valuable is missing or lost.
  • Anxiety may occur from thoughts of being uncertain about our life or thing that are out of our control.
  • Pride may be attributed to a successful outcome to our own actions and skills.
  • We feel grateful when we attribute our success and happiness to someone else or to luck.

So, as you could see, different emotions are preceded by different thoughts. That is good news because that means that we can actually change the way we feel by managing and changing our thoughts!

We can choose to feel positive, happy and grateful each and every day. Of course, there will be days when we will feel terrible, especially in difficult circumstances and that is OK.

But, we are not talking about those days here. We are talking about the days when we feel down. When we feel like a failure. When we feel like our life is not where we would want it to be. When we feel frustrated about our relationships, love life, body weight, financial situation, job, and so on.

The thing is, we can NOT wait for life to become perfect in order for us to feel happy!

Because, let’s get clear here: it’s not realistic to expect life to be “perfect.” Even if we have all the things in out life sorted out: a romantic partner we are happy with, a job we love, a place we feel is our sanctuary, enough money in our account, ideal body weight, and so on, things will still be happening around us and to us that we will not be able to control. Sometimes life just doesn’t go as we had hoped or planned.

Things are constantly happening that are beyond our control. We can’t control the weather, traffic or other people’s behavior. But, there is something we can always control- our reaction to what is happening to us and around us.

We can choose how we will react:

  • Instead of approaching with anger and negative energy, we can move with love and empathy.
  • Instead of judgment and hate, with compassion and love.
  • Instead of complaining about a situation, we can redirect our attention to what we can do to improve it.
  • Instead of feeling miserable for things we don’t have, we can feel grateful for what we do have.
  • Instead of a failure, we can see it as an opportunity to start a new chapter and an opened door for new possibilities.

If we wait for some perfect day in our life to be happy, it may never come.

Happiness can’t be found in things or other people. Happiness is felt inside.

I know it may sound idealistic, but think for a moment: people and things do not make us happy on their own. It is because we love them and because we feel good around them or about them or with them, we enjoy being around them and experiencing them and having them in our life and that is why we feel happy.

We can choose our thoughts and as emotions are preceded by certain thoughts, we can change the way we feel by changing the way think and perceive things. No matter how hard life might be sometimes, we need to find something to be grateful about and see everything that is happening to us as an opportunity for personal growth rather than a painful experience.

We can wake up everyone morning and choose to be happy. That doesn’t mean there won’t be unhappy moments that sneak up in your days, but if you are aware of the thoughts you are having, and how that is effecting your emotions, you can easily get back into a state of happiness even when things go awry.

We can’t wait for happiness to happen to us. We have to make it happen!
Danijela Jokic Vaislay

about the author

Danijela Jokic Vaislay

Danijela Jokic Vaislay is a life coach and motivational speaker from Europe, based in India. Her tips on happiness, success, Law Of Attraction were featured and quotes in many international magazines and personal growth publications, including The Huffington Post, COSMOPOLITAN, and Mike Dooley's blog. Her mission is to help people all over the globe, via her articles, live events, and private 1 on 1 coaching via Skype, to get unstuck in life and manifest their wildest dreams into reality.

Samantha Jane SAYS:

Thank you Danijela ????????????
I am going to write down your examples of different ways to react and check back with them when it gets hard to breathe xoxoxx

    Danijela SAYS:

    Dear Samantha, I’m so glad that you found the article inspiring! Writing it down will help you a lot to embody the new ways of reacting and change the way you feel! Great idea!

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