Can You Really Be Friends After a Breakup? - The Ladies Coach
 

Can You Really Be Friends After a Breakup?

by Christal Fuentes

I’ve been receiving non-stop messages asking if it’s possible to still be friends after a breakup. I mean, that’s a perfectly acceptable question, right?

Can break up friendships actually be a real thing, or is it simply a thing that you see on TV, or in movies? If you were successful at being friends to begin with, you probably would still be together today!

Take a look at the friends you currently have in your life, you probably have similar interests; respect for each other, understanding of each other, love, and appreciation. Friendship is truly one of the most beautiful relationships we have in life.

If your relationship had the qualities listed above, but simply lacked intimacy then yes, you have the potential to be amazing friends after a breakup. Whenever a relationship ends, it means something wasn’t working. If something wasn’t working, why would you expend energy to a friendship when you could have expanded that energy to saving the relationship?

There is an expectation for you to be a “good” friend, and expectation for your ex to reciprocate being a good friend.

The expectation in relationships, and in friendships never end well because you ultimately set yourself up for failure. The expectation is usually the main cause of breakups!

When someone expects their significant other to act a certain way, or do certain things it is ultimately a form of control one has on the relationship because it creates the rule that IF you don’t do “X, Y, Z” for me, then I will be unhappy with you.

Expecting to be friends with an ex is ultimately setting you up for another breakup, only this time it will be with a friend.

It’s time to get real about what relationships we want to continue and what relationships serve us. Breakups usually mean an end to a relationship, period. If you couldn’t sustain the relationship, to begin with, the chances of you sustaining it after are very rare and could leave you feeling stuck in that relationship.

Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

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Leesha SAYS:

I think when the decision to part ways romantically is mutual, those are the kinds of people that can manage being friends post break-up.
On the other hand, when a break-up happens and it was more so one sided than it was even, those friendships (being all things but romantically inclined) could hardly work out.
Surely, that one other person in their previous relationship may still be holding in feelings that have yet to pass, so it would be difficult staying “friends” with a former lover when feelings might still exist.
I think most people decide on being friends after a breakup in hopes that they might end up back together.

    Chrissy Dreyer SAYS:

    Hi Leesha!
    Thank you so much for your opinion on the topic, we love hearing from our Ladies!

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Amazing response Leesha! I absolutely agree. Amicable breakups can usually end in friendship. However, setting expectations to BE friends (especially since a friendship is still a relationship) can set people up for failure. <3 <3 <3

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