This is for all my beautiful “Single Ladies!” Are you out in the dating world and overwhelmed with thoughts of how you’re supposed to act and what you should or shouldn’t talk about?
Well, I have compiled a list of Do’s and Don’ts just for you because I’ve been seeing some of my beautiful ladies committing some dating crimes. I understand it can be nerve-wracking getting to know a potential spouse but instead of handling our nerves with class, we are letting our mouths run with the wind!
I must also say that while coaching some of my ladies about why their dates didn’t go so well, the number one thing I get told (in some way) is…
“Well, I’m not going to change myself on a date. I am who I am.”
If you’re one of my ladies that has said this… stop that shit No one is trying to change who you really are beside you. Don’t misinterpret your behaviors for your character. Behaviors can either reflect you positively or negatively and what I am seeing is that we are getting attached to our negative behaviors and calling them “who we are.”
Overwhelming a person with “who you are” on a first date, stops you from getting to know them, which defeats the purpose doesn’t it?
Alright, let’s get started with the Do’s and Don’t of Dating!
1. DON’T: Talk about your EX or past relationships
This is not the time to get into the sob story of what happened with your past relationships. At all!
DO: Answer questions honestly – Without dwelling too much on the past
If your date happens to ask you when was your last relationship, you may tell them, but move on swiftly.
2. DO: Talk about yourself, but NOT in excess
A date is for two people to get to know each other and it won’t happen if you start vomiting out the mouth making everything relate back to you. I know that first dates can be nerve wrecking, and sometimes the way we calm our nerves is filling up the dead air space, but remember to breathe, and truly go in with the intention of getting to know this person.
3. DON’T: Drink too much
Again, although your nerves are kicking, you might be tempted to order a few too many drinks. Don’t You probably don’t want to show your “cray” side just yet.
DO: Have “A” cocktail to loosen up if you like
Should you decide to drink. Go by a “one-two” drink maximum. This ensures any and all possibility of you making a hot-mess of yourself, and or the possibility of you getting sick in front of your date. ewwwww!
4. DON’T: Dominate the date
First dates are naturally out of most people’s comfort zones. No matter how much you want to choose the restaurant you “want” to go to, or tell your guy what he should eat because you know all the “good stuff” don’t. Let him be the man and let go of your need to control small details.
DO: Let the date flow
Breathe, and relax in your natural, feminine energy. This will take the pressure off, both, you and him. The date can go two ways, good or bad. The way you can get an organic feel of this is by letting it flow.
5. DON’T: Talk about marriage or kids
Just don’t, you barely found out this mans name, you don’t need to know right off the bat if he will make a good husband or father. Right now, you just need to get to know the basics of this person.
DO: Talk about future aspirations and personal goals
Dates are a good time to really talk about things you both enjoy as well as maybe things you both are currently working on. Again, use your convo as a way to get to know each other, but remember, don’t talk about yourself in excess!
TLC Tip: Be PRESENT, DON’T be on your cell phone:
Be present. We know dates can be uncomfortable at first, or for some, uncomfortable the whole time, but keep in mind, this feeling is temporary. You don’t need to put pressure on yourself and the person you are having a date with. Enter this date with the true intention of getting to know this person. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t….next!
Comment below your insights and questions below! I love hearing from you!