How to Be Nice but Not Too Nice

by Christal Fuentes

Wanna know the biggest problem I see that stops my ladies from living an authentic life? Are you ready for it?… It’s that we are too nice! What? Yup! Did you ever think being too nice was gonna be a problem? I certainly didn’t, but the more I understand what living an authentic life means, the more I understand what’s truly stopping us is caring too much about how others perceive us.

Not too long ago we lost two absolute legends. First, David Bowie, then Prince. It’s definitely been a sad year, not just for the music industry, but for everyone for so many reasons, but the #1 reason I want to focus on is how these two legends were able to cultivate a life of authenticity and do it with zero fucks given!

In this video I specifically talk about Prince because I read an article that gave me all the “ah-ha’s” in the world that I couldn’t wait 5 seconds before I shared it with my ladies on Snapchat (my favorite app EVER).

via GIPHY
The response I got was incredible. There are so many ladies walking around with a very toxic disease. Want to know what that disease is? Well… I discuss it in the video but one thing I want you to remember is that being too nice is attached to expectations.
holy bombshell right? Being too nice is not authentic and is actually attached to expectations of how you’d like people to reciprocate.

That’s not really nice at all right? Well let’s get deeper in today’s video “How to be nice but not too nice,” and let me know what you took away by commenting below!

Happy TLC Thursday, and stay cool!

Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

VIEW ALL POSTS >
Rachelle SAYS:

This is awesome! I totally get what your saying. I need to write that down and REMEMBER it. Thank you

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    We all need to remember this! So easy to fall in the traps believing that we aren’t good enough, and feel the need to OVER compensate for that! So glad you enjoyed XO!

Roxane Fuentes SAYS:

How can I take this to work? Don’t care about pleasing anymore just want to work, but get disrespected, degraded and belittled. Yet I get called in office for being rude and bad attitude in reality I’m not the bad one. (misunderstood northern latina in the south). I am working on being by myself and not pleasing for sure. (big issues of mine) Thanks for sharing!!!

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Thank you for sharing. If you are feeling disrespected, degraded and belittled, it might be possible that you are taking things too personally. No one can make you feel these extremes. We are in charge of our own feelings and when we give people that much power It’s because we take what they say/do personally. Trust me, I’ve had to learn this too, so I recommend reading an easy book called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz (my favorite author) he is absolutely amazing at helping people create a strong sense of emotional balance by letting go of things they can’t control. XO

mandatorymindfulness SAYS:

Ahhhhhhh haha I ised to be the BIGGEST overcompensater and would get so frustrated and disappointed when the effort and energy wasn’t returned. I’m SO much a happier and a completely different person now that I stay true to my own values of what is right for me. Xxx

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    YES! Definitely something we all have had to learn. I know I certainly had to. Thank you for sharing! XO

Amy SAYS:

I can very much relate to this!! Wonderful clip TLC.. Your so inspiring and I love your passion for life 🙂

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Thank you for watching! I so appreciate you XO!

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