How to Effectively Activate a Time-Out on Someone You Love

How to Effectively Activate a Time-Out on Someone You Love

by Christal Fuentes

I know one thing is for sure, if you’ve got family, you have probably got some drama and if you don’t… Well… You probably lie about other things too.

Throughout the years I’ve talked about how important it is to create boundaries in your relationships. Especially for people who seem to lack respect. The only problem is, how do you do that with people you are supposed to be “loyal” to?

A lot of my ladies struggle with this and one of the most common questions I get is, “how can I still love my family but also get them to respect my… (insert filler word) boundaries, wishes, life…?”

Well, you can’t.


Yes, my love. you can’t make anyone do anything! But you can pull the TIME-OUT card. This is seriously the best invention since giving someone the hand or … the emoji middle finger.

So let’s get into how we EFFECTIVELY activate the time-out card so we can stop letting the behaviors of others dictate how we feel.

ONE: Take some time off from their presence… Doing what’s best for you is always the best decision, even if others take offense to it and sometimes this means giving yourself time away.

TWO: Take ownership of your triggers. Although people can trigger us… WE are in full control over how we react. And taking time away from these people will give you the space needed to identify what needs to be healed within so you aren’t easily triggered again.

THREE: Get clear on what it is you want to feel most and how you can shift this relationship so you can love them fully without compromising that feeling. Meaning, if you love mommy dearest but every time you are together you both get into heated arguments and fights… then maybe its best you space out your meetings together so that you are able to handle what comes your way without ENGAGING in her behavior. It will actually make your meetings more meaningful and loving when the edge is off.

Who’s someone in your life that needs the time-out card and how would it dramatically enhance your life if you could take a step back from trying to force them to respect you, to setting clear boundaries and honoring your values for your life.

As another resource for you, I was able to do a Facebook Live session with two of the most influential people in my life, Zen Rose Garden and we covered every question under the sun regarding family! We share our advice on how to manage the difficult people in your life as well as our own personal stories.

After our session together, the popular question I kept getting was, “How do I pull the time-out card?” So here we are. I hope you enjoy todays video and be sure to COMMENT your insight below.

So I am here to explain what this card means and how to use it effectively.

As always, please leave your comments below! We LOOOOVE hearing from you!
Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

Alexa DePaolo SAYS:

You are amazing! This is exactly what i needed to hear.

    Diedre SAYS:

    Thank you so much ❤

Courtney SAYS:

Can I give my husband a time out? ????

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Absolutely! Hahaha!!! XO

Melissa SAYS:

The whole “mommy dearest” is exactly my situation!

Megan SAYS:

I love that you covered this. I’ve had to pull the time out card on my mom a few times. I love her and we are very close but she doesn’t approve of some of my life choices and shows disrespect at time. The time out doesn’t change how she feels but it dose give me room to breath and make choices that fit my life better. It also helps me distance myself from the situation and see that she is coming from a place of love. I know she wants what’s best for me but her version of what is best doesn’t fit who I am.

Sarah fraser SAYS:

This was a great video, I’m recently going through this with my young sister. She didn’t take it well nor did she understand it, when I gave her a time out card!
Thank you so much for all your amazing advice and wisdom????????

Jenny Pepper SAYS:

I told my daughter 3 weeks ago that I needed to take a break from our relationship as it was unhealthy and I felt in pain. She started blaming me, and was reactive (via whatshap). Since doing this I have felt bad (ashamed and guilty). After listening to your video I feel so much better, reassured and know it was the right thing for me as I felt disrespected by her. So thank you!

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    I’m so happy this video could help Jenny. I definitely agree that if a relationship is toxic there must be a break to reset. Could you give me a little more insight into your relationship with your daughter to see if I can offer any additional resources for you? xx

Brenda SAYS:

I’m sorry. I have had my daughter put me in “time out” and it nearly destroyed our relationship. I think every situation is different and sometimes the opposite needs to happen. Sit down and have an honest conversation with the person and try to work through your issues. My daughter shuts down instead talking and I never know what’s wrong until she backs away again. This is no way to have a relationship. It hurts! I think you have to be careful in what situations you use this tactic because it can definitely destroy your relationships. Just a hurting mother’s perspective…. if you don’t have a background in psychology I would be very careful giving this kind of advice. You are playing with people’s lives.

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