I know one thing is for sure, if you’ve got family, you have probably got some drama and if you don’t… Well… You probably lie about other things too.
Throughout the years I’ve talked about how important it is to create boundaries in your relationships. Especially for people who seem to lack respect. The only problem is, how do you do that with people you are supposed to be “loyal” to?
A lot of my ladies struggle with this and one of the most common questions I get is, “how can I still love my family but also get them to respect my… (insert filler word) boundaries, wishes, life…?”
Well, you can’t.
What?!
Yes, my love. you can’t make anyone do anything! But you can pull the TIME-OUT card. This is seriously the best invention since giving someone the hand or … the emoji middle finger.
So let’s get into how we EFFECTIVELY activate the time-out card so we can stop letting the behaviors of others dictate how we feel.
ONE: Take some time off from their presence… Doing what’s best for you is always the best decision, even if others take offense to it and sometimes this means giving yourself time away.
TWO: Take ownership of your triggers. Although people can trigger us… WE are in full control over how we react. And taking time away from these people will give you the space needed to identify what needs to be healed within so you aren’t easily triggered again.
THREE: Get clear on what it is you want to feel most and how you can shift this relationship so you can love them fully without compromising that feeling. Meaning, if you love mommy dearest but every time you are together you both get into heated arguments and fights… then maybe its best you space out your meetings together so that you are able to handle what comes your way without ENGAGING in her behavior. It will actually make your meetings more meaningful and loving when the edge is off.
Who’s someone in your life that needs the time-out card and how would it dramatically enhance your life if you could take a step back from trying to force them to respect you, to setting clear boundaries and honoring your values for your life.
As another resource for you, I was able to do a Facebook Live session with two of the most influential people in my life, Zen Rose Garden and we covered every question under the sun regarding family! We share our advice on how to manage the difficult people in your life as well as our own personal stories.
After our session together, the popular question I kept getting was, “How do I pull the time-out card?” So here we are. I hope you enjoy todays video and be sure to COMMENT your insight below.
So I am here to explain what this card means and how to use it effectively.
Alexa DePaolo SAYS:
You are amazing! This is exactly what i needed to hear.