5 Ways to Heal from a Breakup - The Ladies Coach

5 Ways to Heal from a Breakup

by Christal Fuentes

Breakups are hard. They leave you feeling chaotic, confused, and wondering if you did the right thing, or, if there was something you “could’ve” done. Christal gives you 5 ways to not only cope, but to gain some peace during this tough time.

I think its safe to say, most of us have experienced a breakup at some point right? I think we can also agree, they suck! Regardless if you are the one who did the breaking up, it’s still no easy decision to leave a relationship. I thought it was important that we discusss how to heal from a breakup after we decide to leave.

Right now I am currently in San Diego with my mom. I had the pleasure of sitting down with Lauryn of The Skinny Confidential and her husband for the Him x Her Podcast which was such a treat!

I am so in awe of what this girl has accomplished and how she was able to do it, with style and grace. If you don’t follow them yet, you need to jump on that stat! I promise you will learn so much from their podcast.

But I digress.

Being in San Diego has brought up some pretty crazy memories. Like, did you know I once lived in SD for a few years? I came out here with an ex-boyfriend at the time and what a roller coaster that was. It’s safe to say that was my first and last experience of a toxic relationship. But I can’t completely blame him for that though. What do I always say?

A relationship is a choice TWO people make. So if you are in a toxic relationship, the real question is, why do YOU choose to participate in it?

You ready for a truth bomb?

We stay in relationships we feel treat us BETTER than how we treat ourselves.

I want you to read that again. If you are staying in a toxic relationship, the real toxicity begins with you. So many women ask why it’s so hard to leave a relationship they know isn’t good for them, well, this relationship is ultimately matching what you think you deserve. So if you want the courage to leave babe, you have to raise your standards! We have more resources on that so make sure you check them out.

Now, back to breakups. If you are currently going through the pain of a breakup or know someone who is, please make sure you share this episode with them. I share some things I think will help anyone get clear about what they are actually experiencing.

Did you know most of the pain we feel post-breakup are pretty similar to what an addict experiences when they quit smoking, drinking coffee or alcohol, or even quit drugs?

Oh yes, we are ADDICTED TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS… now that shouldn’t scare you, but I want you to know there’s science behind the extreme emotions we experience when we disconnect with someone we love.

With that said, today I am here to give you five ways that could help ease these emotions a bit and potentially give you a piece of peace.

Let me know what you’ve learned in the comments below, and if you have any other tips have helped you heal from a breakup. 

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Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

Katie SAYS:

This podcast couldn’t have come at a better time since I am very currently going through a breakup. So I will be implementing those 5 tools tonight and hopefully regain some peace in my currently chaotic situation. On a different note, I know that there are many women out there that suffer through abusive relationships. I know I surely have and I would love to hear some advice on how to regain yourself after being told everyday that your not good enough and being knocked down both physically and mentally. With breakups there are the hardships of losing your partner and losing that connection but when you throw that fear and brainwashing into the mix I feel that it can be a gazillion times harder to believe in yourself and speak out and regain what you have lost. I would love to hear your ideas on this topic even further because I believe that too many women are behind closed doors and feel that they don’t have a voice and are even scared to have a voice and bringing awareness and speaking up is just so important. Keep on empowering women around the world, your doing such a phenomenal job, Thursday’s can’t come fast enough!❤????

Kris SAYS:

My boyfriend broke up with me two and a half months ago and I’m still struggling hard. He was the first guy I ever truly loved and it came as a complete shock to me. Is it normal to still be absolutely devastated for this long? I am going to try and implement these five steps and hopefully can find some peace with it.

Samantha SAYS:

I have split from my ex now 3 years ago, we were together for about 10yrs.
we had great & ugly times we went through a cycle of being great for 6 months and bad for 6 months always breaking up on & off for 10yrs. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t think he was my Mr Big I thought we would have the same ending as Carrie and Big.
Our problem was he was a narcissist only thought about himself and how he could get to the top no matter who he crushed on the way and I was foolish enough to believe he would never do wrong by me no matter how much I did for him.
I spent my entire 20’s helping this man with all business ideas and having 2 restaurants and always putting my ideas on the back burner, with him saying why do you need your own business when we are trying to open a new restaurant.
Having the restaurants got to he’s head he started thinking he was the man so young and owns a restaurant, he liked all the attention he got.
I had taken him back every time because i honestly left worthless all I’d known for so long is him and the business and I felt what am I going to do with myself or I have to start all over again, he would also remind that I should stick with him as all I have is just a pretty face.
How he repaid me in the end was by sleeping with the manager and getting another pregnant!!
That was the sign I had been asking for, to give me the strength and courage to leave for good!!
I knew I was better off without him and I could never go back after that that was the ultimate disrespect and I knew then he truly did not care for me.
I think I have practice these 5 steps but I have not believe in all steps because I have caught myself from time to time judging, not forgiving him. I think how could he, why, and sometimes wonder if he ever cared or does he even feel bad.
He ended up with the girl he got pregnant they have had a child and are engaged.
All the things he said he never wanted he ended up doing and I get mad because I think it’s my hard work my money that they live off
I feel like I’m still searching for that apology that’s never gonna happen!
I want to move pass this and not think about it again. I want to forgive him and me but I find myself saying no he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness and I’m not sure if that’s why I still think about what’s happen.
I have moved on too, I found the perfect guy 11 months after our split and we have a son and a baby girl on the way.

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Hi Samantha! I understand the pain this breakup has left you but forgiveness is not about HIM. It’s for YOU. Forgiving someone is really saying, I’m letting go of you and what you did to me because it’s not serving me anymore. XO

Pascal SAYS:

Plz I need an advise,,it’s all about a girl am dating,infact i don’t understand her life character but she loves me and truly inside my heart I really love her also,,but what I don’t understand is the ways of her life,,she is the kind of a girl that has male friends more than females friends,she normally some times chart with guys more than her fellow girls and she don’t disagreed not to give you her contact any time any man meet her on the way,but when I ask her is she okay in terms of the way she gives out her contact but her reply to me is and she normally tells me truth even the things that I don’t suppose to know and am the kind of a jealous guy who doesn’t wants to see any man close to my girl,so does it mean that she may cheat on my absent or that’s parts of her character,,,plz I need concrete advise cuz I love her and she also love me but my fear is what I explained about her now,,,,.

Jessica SAYS:

this doesn’t help me. I still live with my ex. It’s hard to move on, when I have nowhere to go or the means. I’m still in love with him and he has told me I have a chance for us to get back together if finances get better. I don’t blame him. He’s the best man I’ve been with.

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Hi Jessica, your ex told you he’d get back with you if finances got better? Why would your relationship be circumstantial?

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