Have you ever lay awake at night feeling overwhelmed about things, but had no idea what’s actually overwhelming you. Did it leave you feeling stress and anxiety?

I know from personal experience, I used to be a professional “people pleaser” and by doing this I constantly walked around anxious but never really knew why. 

At that time I “thought” I was alone with this but I now know, you’ve been there done that too! So here’s what I’ve come up with… In order to make room for the things that serve you; you need to rid yourself of the things that don’t.

So that means, in order to stop stress, you need to first, find out what may be the cause so you are able to bring attention to it. With that said, I do know five things you need to stop doing that is most definitely causing you stress and anxiety…

Here are the 5 things to STOP doing that are causing you Stress and Anxiety

1. STOP with your expectations about life and people!

Most of the pain we experience in life comes from our perceptions of life that aren’t being met. I have felt this so many times being a professional people pleaser!

Every time I thought I was pleasing someone, I was also expecting something from them in return, whether it was appreciation; feeling significant in their lives, or connection, and love…. And when I didn’t get it…. I felt hurt and felt betrayed.

When I learned to appreciate what I was able to give, rather than giving with expectation, I was able to create boundaries for myself based off what was true for me. It also allows you to really appreciate life for what it is.

2. STOP with the lame pity parties!

Don’t fool yourself… they aren’t fun… for anybody!!! The truth is, the more blame you place on everyone else the less control you give yourself. And that is stressssfullll!

Taking responsibility for your life may be hard at times, but when you do, it allows you to become more clear about what is serving you… (or not). Which makes more room for change, and growth.

3. STOP lying to yourself!

The worst lies are the ones that we tell ourselves.

Most of the causes of our stress and anxiety come from a contradiction we have within ourselves. This is how it works, your truth wants to feel a certain way, and instead of listening to your truth, you do the exact opposite. We obviously don’t do it on purpose, but the mistake we make is thinking we know more than our truth.

We like to silence our “truth” because sometimes what our “truth” has to say may not sound nice and pretty, but I guarantee, it is the best thing to listen to. And when you do, you will end the conflict that is happening with your soul that leaves you saying YES when you really mean NO.

This was a major lesson I had to learn… again, as I was a professional people pleaser, but once I took care of my soul’s truth first, I began to feel free. And when your soul is free, you are able to truly live, give and exude passion.

4. STOP trying to prove your worth to others

You are worth every bit of everything. There is nothing you need to prove to anyone. When we try to prove our worth, we add unnecessary stress, grief, pain, and yes anxiety to our life. When we are trying to prove ourselves to others, it takes us back to having “expectations” of others to show we are worth it.

Life will always have your back, trust me!.. And LIFE will prove it a whole lot more than YOU ever could on your own!

Last but certainly not least…

5. STOP thinking things can’t be fixed or improved

When we make mistakes, bad choices, bad actions, or when something we can’t control comes out of nowhere, we dwell on them. This dwelling will almost certainly keep us awake at night wondering what we could’ve done better, or if we could go back in time etc…..

Reflection is a good thing, but you must know that life continues, and things get better! (if you want them to). You can always improve yourself, your situation and your relationships. Even if there are some things you can’t take back. Don’t create more unneeded drama within yourself because you think things are permanent.

Nothing is permanent! And you have the power to shift any situation.

Now, I don’t want you to think I’m a “hater” of stress. I do think some stress is actually a good thing if it’s serving you. Stress can be a great thing in business if there is a deadline, or maybe you are trying to figure out the best school you want your kids to go to. OR when you are putting together a presentation that you will be giving to a large group of people.

If it is expanding and serving you, stress is a great thing! I don’t want you to have a bad meaning towards stress. I just want you to get in the practice of identifying what is working and what isn’t.

I hope these five tips serve as a start to help deal with your stress and anxiety