5 Things to Stop Doing That Are Causing You Stress and Anxiety

by Christal Fuentes

Have you ever lay awake at night feeling overwhelmed about things, but had no idea what’s actually overwhelming you. Did it leave you feeling stressed and with anxiety?

I know from personal experience, I used to be a professional “people pleaser” and by doing this I constantly walked around anxious but never really knew why. 

At that time I “thought” I was alone with this but I now know, you’ve been there done that too! So here’s what I’ve come up with… In order to make room for the things that serve you; you need to rid yourself of the things that don’t.

So that means, in order to stop stress, you need to first, find out what may be the cause so you are able to bring attention to it. With that said, I do know five things you need to stop doing that is most definitely causing you stress and anxiety…

Here are the 5 things to STOP doing that are causing you Stress & Anxiety

1. STOP with your expectations about life and people!

Trade expectations
This quote will always hit home for me because most of the pain we experience in life comes from our perceptions of life that aren’t being met. I have felt this so many times being a professional people pleaser!

Every time I thought I was pleasing someone, I was also expecting something from them in return, whether it was appreciation; feeling significant in their lives, or connection, and love…. And when I didn’t get it…. I felt hurt and felt betrayed.

When I learned to appreciate what I was able to give, rather than giving with expectation, I was able to create boundaries for myself based off what was true for me. It also allows you to really appreciate life for what it is.

2. STOP with the lame pity parties!

Don’t fool yourself… they aren’t fun… for anybody!!! The truth is, the more blame you place on everyone else the less control you give yourself. And that is stressssfullll!

Taking responsibility for your life may be hard at times, but when you do, it allows you to become more clear about what is serving you… (or not). Which makes more room for change, and growth.

3. STOP lying to yourself!

The worst lies are the ones that we tell ourselves.

Most of the causes of our stress and anxiety come from a contradiction we have within ourselves. This is how it works, your truth wants to feel a certain way, and instead of listening to your truth, you do the exact opposite. We obviously don’t do it on purpose, but the mistake we make is thinking we know more than our truth.

We like to silence our “truth” because sometimes what our “truth” has to say may not sound nice and pretty, but I guarantee, it is the best thing to listen to. And when you do, you will end the conflict that is happening with your soul that leaves you saying YES when you really mean NO.
go against everyones wishes
This was a major lesson I had to learn… again, as I was a professional people pleaser, but once I took care of my soul’s truth first, I began to feel free. And when your soul is free, you are able to truly live, give and exude passion.

4. STOP trying to prove your worth to others

As soon as you let go of the need
You are worth every bit of everything. There is nothing you need to prove to anyone. When we try to prove our worth, we add unnecessary stress, grief, pain, and yes anxiety to our life. When we are trying to prove ourselves to others, it takes us back to having “expectations” of others to show we are worth it.

Life will always have your back, trust me!.. And LIFE will prove it a whole lot more than YOU ever could on your own!

Last but certainly not least…

5. STOP thinking things can’t be fixed or improved

When we make mistakes, bad choices, bad actions, or when something we can’t control comes out of nowhere, we dwell on them. This dwelling will almost certainly keep us awake at night wondering what we could’ve done better, or if we could go back in time etc…..

Reflection is a good thing, but you must know that life continues, and things get better! (if you want them to). You can always improve yourself, your situation and your relationships. Even if there are some things you can’t take back. Don’t create more unneeded drama within yourself because you think things are permanent.

“Nothing is permanent! And you have the power to shift any situation.” “TheLadiesCoach”

Now, I don’t want you to think I’m a “hater” of stress. I do think some stress is actually a good thing if it’s serving you. Stress can be a great thing in business if there is a deadline, or maybe you are trying to figure out the best school you want your kids to go to. OR when you are putting together a presentation that you will be giving to a large group of people.

If it is expanding and serving you, stress is a great thing! I don’t want you to have a bad meaning towards stress. I just want you to get in the practice of identifying what is working and what isn’t.

I hope these 5 tips serve as a start to this practice!

XOXO,
Christal

Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

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Kristy Petersen SAYS:

The main one i need to work on is to stop trying to prove my worth to others…why do I do this?
P.s this quote….
“Nothing is permanent! And you have the power to shift any situation.”
ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY!!!
Kristy xx

Jessie SAYS:

Christal, you have inspired me and helped me in so many ways and this is just another!
Number 1 for me is a big issue! I need to try and trade my expectations for appreciation !
Your snapchats have also helped me so much! especially in my relationship and putting myself in my partners shoes!
xxxx

paula SAYS:

I really need this, this week.
I keep feeling the need to prove my worth at work and reading this gave me a lot to think about.
Thank you !!
xxxx

Melanie Decker SAYS:

I know I place stress on myself where none should be. I have been a people pleaser.. And for the longest time thought that was a good thing. It has only been in the last year (I’m 34! It should not have taken so long) that I am figuring out how to be ok not being a people pleaser. I have a long way to go but feel i am heading in the right direction.

Tamara Zampatti (@TamaraZampatti) SAYS:

Love this ????????????
Stress and anxiety is the worst. Thank you for your tips ????

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