3 Ways to Develop Self-Confidence in a Relationship

3 Ways to Develop Self-Confidence in a Relationship

by Lauren Johnston

On average, a person can have up to 50,000 thoughts per day. Yes, you read that right, 50,000! Some might be brief and quickly pass us by, others have a lasting impact on how we continue to live our lives. The thoughts you have today, help to form your experiences tomorrow.

If we are choosing to constantly highlight the negative beliefs about ourselves, hide from the truth, suppress our emotions and let others walk all over us, we diminish our self-esteem and have less to give in a relationship. What if you could turn this around in a few easy steps to develop self-confidence in your relationship?

Are you ready to take action now, work towards being the best version of you and have more connected and fulfilled relationships?

Here are 3 ways to develop self-confidence in a relationship

1. Stop the guessing game

Have you ever had an issue with your partner and thought things like “they should know how I’m feeling” or “Isn’t it obvious what I need?” and yet that need is still unmet and unresolved? You are still hoping that by a certain miracle they develop the skills to either read minds or they just happen to ‘figure it out’.

The simple answer to that, they don’t. You are so unique and how you experience life will be completely different to another person, so how can you assume your partner thinks the same as you and just ‘knows’? If you refrain from expressing your needs, you will end up resenting those closest to you.

Your individual needs and desires are important and you are so worthy of having them fulfilled. Communication is the key. Be upfront and honest with your partner. Get rid of the ‘grey area’ and all of the guessing by making it clear to them what you need and why it is important to you. If you articulate your needs, your partner can reciprocate.

2. Draw a line in the sand

Having boundaries isn’t just saying no to the cake offered to you on your work break or declining an invitation to an outing on a weeknight. While they can be important, it is so much more than that. It is loving yourself enough to make decisions that serve YOU regardless of the reaction from others.

By having these boundaries, you create a space to connect with yourself where you can determine what you accept, what you share and who you let close to you. Establishing healthy boundaries within your relationship helps you to feel comfortable in who YOU are as a beautiful unique individual.

It strengthens your positive self-esteem. In order to establish this space and your boundaries you must get clear on your values, what you believe in and your limits. Don’t be afraid to communicate this to others, they are your rules and you are in control of what you allow in your life.

3. Feel, feel, feel

We spend hours a day, on our phones glancing into the lives of others and as a result, we don’t connect with the most important person, ourselves. How many times can you recall something exciting, frightening, spontaneous or downright hilarious happening and before you know it, and as your clicking ‘confirm’ to post it for others, the moment passes you by? You’ve just blocked an opportunity to connect with your emotional self and completely feel your feelings.

If we do not feel into our emotions, there is no way we can move through them and open ourselves up to others. It is time to slow down, to be present and to be in tune with your truth. In order to contribute to your relationship, you must develop a true sense of self and open yourself up to emotions you may have previously held yourself back from feeling.

It is then that you can share in emotions and develop compassion for your significant other. Schedule a time to sit doing nothing and feel into your emotions. Before doing this, ditch the judgment! Things may come up that feel uncomfortable and that is okay. Don’t try and avoid these feelings, acknowledge them, feel into them and move through them. Be kind to yourself.

Self-esteem starts with YOU.
Take the time for YOU today.
You are important.
You are worth it.
You matter.

Lauren Johnston

about the author

Lauren Johnston

Lauren Johnston is the Founder of PaveTheWay Life Coaching.
Her mission as a dedicated Relationship and Mindset Coach is to help empower women who are experiencing a disconnection from within to discover their true self-worth, values, and potential in order to create vibrant and fulfilling relationships. Her passion is to educate, support and inspire as many women as possible.


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