5 Reasons Why Your Love Life Sucks, It’s Not Him Its You

by Stephanie Bee

Is it me or has the hashtag #MenAreTrash become so popular over the past year or two?

While us women have always gone through multiple issues with men, social media has allowed us to unite with hashtags and understand the symptoms of men that are #TRASH, with instructions on how to stay clear of these men!

But is it just me or is it the same type of women who go through these crazy issues with men? I mean think about it.

Ladies, we all have that one friend who always makes bad decisions on men, and they all have one type of behavior in common! They have endless amounts of excuses for the guy’s behavior, they blame themselves, they ask their friends for advice knowing they will never take it. They are really insecure or worst of all, they are in denial of all the above!

Ladies, today I am here to pose a question, what if the issue has never been the guy, but always been you?

Here are Five Reasons why It’s Not Him, It’s You:

1. You avoid the first signs of him being #Trash

Every woman will receive those early signs of the guy she is with, being the guy she should have avoided. For example,

If he ignores your calls after having sex for the first time, he is probably #TRASH.

If he only comes around once in a while and usually it’s for sex he’s probably #TRASH.

If he is consistently giving you mixed signals, I.E one minute he’s ready to commit the next minute he’s M.I.A. He’s probably #TRASH.

Ladies the list goes on, but the key first-hand signs, usually interlink with you feeling neglected, confused and used. Chances are, it’s not going to get better, and you chose to not get out while you could because you believed he would change.

2. You know he is talking to you and other women 

Relationships don’t always end how they start, but the foundation is one of the most important aspects to determine how you will build. Most men when talking to you and another woman, has no intentions of making it exclusive, and even when they do, would you really feel comfortable knowing that he has the potential to make you a main chick again? Main Chick or Side Chick, it’s all the same! It’s up to you to know that you are valuable enough to be the only chick!

3. You allow the physical to overpower the emotional 

Ladies, affection comes in endless forms. It is never a problem when affection is performed sporadically, but if affection always leads to sex, there is a problem. Although sex is a great way to express love it is definitely not the only way. You have the power to sense and feel when sex is becoming habitual and seems to be the only time he comes around.

Don’t forget rule 1 f he only comes around once in a while and usually, it’s for sex, he’s probably #TRASH. You have the power to decide how frequent sex happens and the moment you allow the physical to overpower the emotional, it’s no longer him that is the problem, but you.

4. You’re always wondering where you stand

In every relationship, there is always that “limbo” stage where the couple isn’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but they’re also not single. This stage can healthily last anywhere between the first 6 months to potentially a year.

But girl a year is a PUSH!

The problem with most women is they allow the relationship to stay in limbo for long periods of time. Allowing the guy to become comfortable in not committing to anything to quickly or long term. Usually, it’s not that women don’t want to be out of limbo, but we don’t know how to get out, so we allow the limbo stage to last so long that it almost becomes normal to not know where we stand.

But ladies! That is when the problem arises! We fail to be vocal about our feelings and instead of working as a team to figure out where the relationship is going, we sit back and contemplate if we will ever be “official”.

The limbo stage is oddly a necessary part of a functioning relationship. Not knowing where you both stand can be bitter but also sweet, because of the heart-melting moment when you find out that you were both wanting the same thing and waiting for that “right time.”

Ladies, when months are passing and there no signs of commitment and all three earlier stages (that we previously discussed) are happening, you’re allowing him to be #TRASH, it’s no longer him that is the problem, it’s you.

5. You don’t know your worth and neither does he 

The reason why so many of us women allow men to treat us the way we do is, that we don’t realize what we are worth. It’s not possible to show a man that you are worth fighting for and being with. if you don’t know what makes you worth the fight! Every man deserves a woman who loves herself and is secure enough to be happy whether with him or single.

Know your worth.

Be empowered at the fact that you are not like any other women on this Earth and the only way to get what you deserve is to never settle for less than what you are worth, and ladies I promise the moment you begin to do that the universe will begin to work in your favor!

Stephanie Bee

about the author

Stephanie Bee

Steph Bee is a passionate Women's writer with a heart for all things empowering, so much so that the "Bee" in her brand stands for, Becoming, Entirely Empowered. Her growth in content providing does not stop with writing but floods over to digital content creating through her newly established videos on youtube. Want to know more, check me out on my social media!

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