7 Ways Social Media is Ruining Relationships - The Ladies Coach

7 Ways Social Media is Ruining Relationships

by Renee Slansky

Social media; Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (and all the rest) are fast becoming the center of our lives daily. Whilst there are many positive outcomes of this technological invention, there are also some serious side effects that not only impact your self- esteem or career, but also your relationships. Is social media ruining relationships, and you’re not even aware of it?

Let’s look at 7 ways social media is ruining relationships:

1: It invites the past into your present.

How many times have we received a friend request, comment or message from an old friend, ex or colleague from the past? The thing with social media is that it has limited boundaries when it comes to people accessing or contacting you. Whilst this may bring back some memories and nostalgia of the good times, it can also invite unwanted emotions or even temptations back into your life.

My theory is that the past is best left in the past and that if certain people (especially ex-partners) are no longer in your physical present life today then there is a reason. Be wary with whom you decide to regain contact with and don’t feel obliged to accept anyone just because they once were a part of your life before.

2: It blurs the boundaries.

Opening the doors of your life to the world gives you, even more, ground to monitor and cover and this can be quite difficult to muster! There seems to be this unspoken etiquette with social media that if you don’t accept someone then you will be offending them. Rubbish! It is your personal life at stake here and just because the world decides to overshare doesn’t mean you have to too.

A female that your man works with doesn’t necessarily have to then become his Facebook friend, you should set clear boundaries between you and your partner of whom each of you decides to invite into your private life.

3: It turns you into a comparison queen.

It’s amazing how our self -esteem can take a hit when we don’t get the 349 “likes”

on our simple picture (especially when we have compromised our standards a little to show a bit more flesh ). Let’s put things into perspective: what you see on someone’s Instagram or Twitter account is not necessarily representative of their real life or even happiness.

Don’t be fooled by the filters and #hastags, plenty of people are happy and successful without having to advertise it to the world and get the approval of the multitude.  Just because a woman has bigger breasts or a smaller waist doesn’t mean you are any less of a beautiful person.

4: It can invite insecurities, mistrust, and paranoia.

Sounds so serious but it’s true and often it starts out as a small fear that gradually grows as we become more and more obsessed with social media. Your relationship with your partner should not be centered around social media. You shouldn’t have to be checking his profile every 5 mins or secretly stalking people to see whether or not something fishy is going on. If social media is starting to control your actions, thoughts and basically send you cray cray, then it’s time to reassess and perhaps take a break.

5: You can become addictive and let it take priority.

How many times have we reached for our phone first thing in the morning or flicked through it whilst having dinner with our main man? There should be a rule that no phones or tablets etc. are accessible during any social gathering and meal! We lived without it before for thousands of years and in fact, we all functioned a whole lot better (we even communicated better!) so let’s not lose perspective and put the phones down and talk to each other like the good old days!

6: It eats into your one on one time.

I’m a stickler for spending quality time with my man, so we both try to ban our phones and make each other a priority rather than some random’s food selfie! It’s amazing how much of our time can become consumed with trying to keep up with all the different social media avenues. Whilst it’s vital to some women’s careers, it also must not become the sole focus of our day. Don’t forget to nurture and nourish the real things in life that matter most.

7: It can cause oversharing and unwanted opinions.

Basically the more people you open up your life too, the more unwanted opinions (on how you should run your life) you will invite. Social media gives us this silent permission and definitely confidence in oversharing. Why? Well because we know it will generate attention, sympathy or a discussion of some sort which in a way makes us feel like what we have to say is validated and who we are is important.

Who you are is important but your worth would not be based on the opinions of random strangers, nor should your private life be judged by people who hold no real genuine position in your world. It’s not to say we can’t enjoy social media, but let’s also not lose perspective.

Do you feel that social media is ruining relationships? Comment below!

Renee Slansky

about the author

Renee Slansky

Renee Slansky is an Australian established TV presenter, writer and professional  blogger  who’s love for romance and heart for women compelled her to start her online community http://www.thedatingdirectory.co .

From a young age she started leading and counselling women and was often called on by strangers and friends for relationship advice. With no professional training but rather what she picked up in experience, teachings and observation, her writings offer a witty and relative outlook with practical advice on life and romance in the 21st century.


I absolutely do and unfortunately it is not my presence on social media but rather my wife’s. Always seems that the twitter crew is more important than her husband and kids. We are at a loss for what to do and I fear it is the beginning of the end.

Jonas SAYS:

Good article.
I’m currently ruining my relationship with my partner as I have a few times made comments online that she has seen that she has taken as inappropriate. And when she points out the problems I often can see it myself but then the damage is already done.
I hate the fact that it so easy to just type something up to someone without actually thinking things through.
Often what I have thought sounds good in my head might not sound so good once it typed down online.
Like the last thing that got me intro trouble was when I was thinking I was going to make a dumb joke. This woman that makes youtube videos I watch at times had a new haircut and I commented “great hair, wish I could take you out for coffee” which I did not really mean. I thought that its a silly, funny comment as no one would actually think that just because someone has a new hair cut. Well, my partner found that comment and now things are not that great and I understand how wrong it is to write something like that. Probably made me sound creepy too.

Would I ever had said something like that in real life? No, so why does it slip through stuff like that online? I’m so tired of myself for messing things up online and hurting my partner in the process because I obviously don’t want to do that.

Lori Gomez SAYS:

Yes I feel as though I have lost my daughter to social media. Our relationship has decayed little by little beginning seven years ago when she got to where you could not see her that her phone was not in her right hand. It’s pretty much been that way ever since. She will do a little sweet things for me out of duty but she has no interest in nurturing our relationship anymore. She’s completely satisfied by what she gets on the Internet. I think it’s very unhealthy and I think she craves and thrives on social attention rather than real and personal relationships that should matter. My goodness, I loved my mother so much and she and I had a warm fun relationship that I crave to have with My Daughter too – But strangers on Facebook are spending all of that time with her and I will be gone soon because I have a chronic illness that is getting really bad.

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