6 Signs You Take Everything Personally

by Christal Fuentes

Oh, yeah, don’t act like you are the exception because, in today’s video, I am going to share 6 signs that you almost definitely take things personally. Why does this matter?

Well, if your happiness doesn’t matter then this probably won’t be a big deal to you but since I know happiness does matter to us… I mean… I did write a book about this very thing…

Image of cover of book how to be hot by christal fuentes

When you take things personally, it makes everything about us and when that happens, how we feel about ourselves is completely dependent on how others perceive us. I find this to be a bigger problem for most of my ladies because we think for a community, so naturally, we care more about how others feel, but again, how much of this is actually caring, and how much is it seeking approval, gratification or acknowledgment for what should be felt within?

Here are 6 signs that you take things personally:

1. You are always trying to prove your self-worth to others

I was guilty of this when I quit my fulltime job and started coaching, I always felt people were judging me because of how young and “inexperienced” I was. That I would try to overcompensate my time and energy to change their minds and at the end of the day.

2. Judgment and Insecurity often creeps in

If you find yourself judging others for how they exist or live their lives, then you 100% without a doubt take everything personally. When I scroll through the comment sections on social media, I am saddened by the lack of fulfillment people have to feel, in order to comment hurtful things to others. No one is affecting your life that much to feel HATE at passionate levels. But it certainly would feel that way, if you made everything people do… about YOU!

3. You need immediate gratification and praise

If you constantly do things for praise, approval or attention, you unfortunately open yourself up to disappointment, because no one is going to make you feel as worthy as you deserve besides you.

4. You get too attached to what your friends and loved ones are doing

As much as we love our significant others, friends and families, they are their own people and we have absolutely no control, I repeat, NO CONTROL over them. As much as we want to help people and make them see things differently, we will cause ourselves unnecessary drama putting expectations on how they should live their lives.

5. You find yourself feeling GUILTY often

If you find yourself feeling guilty all the time, I encourage you to watch a past video we did so that guilt doesn’t dominate your life. But I will say, feeling GUILTY is tied with attachment to self. Guilt is ALL about taking things personally, especially if you feel guilty for things you couldn’t control. Because you make YOU bigger than uncontrollable or unforeseen circumstances and I’m, #sorrynotsorry, you’re NOT bigger than life…

6. You tend to look at what’s going wrong more than what’s going right

Do you find yourself being cynical about most things? Cynicism is actually an attachment to being right. I actually call it the “justice meter” in my book. A justice meter is all about finding what’s wrong and “making it right” but here’s the thing, we are not GOD and we cannot control people and to be overly obsessed with what people do that’s wrong is just not a healthy way to live and makes EVERYTHING PERSONAL. Sure there are times we need to protect ourselves but to look for the worse in any situation is not protecting you, it instead, eats away at your happiness.

Did you have any of these signs that you take things personally? Comment below! I will go ahead and raise my hand because at times, even as a teacher, I can find myself taking things personally but that is why this is a spiritual journey and the goal is to bring awareness to what’s blocking our fulfillment and happiness in life.

Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

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Laura Ormrod SAYS:

You have read my mind this week!!
I was out with my friend yesterday and said to her about a guy( a stranger) “why is he doing that that way?” and her reply was…”what difference does it make to you anyway?!”
It really hit me like why am I making a strangers business my business? Well this video explained it all!
Thank you!
XOXO

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Thank you so much for sharing. That’s so true. We must not get attached to the behaviors of others. XO

Kristy Petersen SAYS:

Once again another eye opener about myself haha.
Definitely 1 & 4 resonated with me.
Im a stay at home mum to my 4 now, but I always find myself justifying it when people ask what i do for a job… why cant i just answer Im a stay at home mum…instead i say oh Im a stay at home mum BUT previously was the assistant Manager at Escape Travel.
I ALWAYS feel guilty about things that are out of my control, or about how other peoples lives are etc.
So moving forward, I am going to try my hardest to say proudly I’m a stay at home Mum, because i do absolutely love it! And Ive already started trying to not feel guilty about things out of my control.
Ive pre ordered 3 of your books YAY! But I’m honestly thinking I need a couple more as I know I’m going to love it and want to share it with so many.
Thanks for another great article, I’m learning so much about myself.
Kristy xx

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    You are so amazing Kristy thank you! XO

cheri SAYS:

Why is it with every job people bully me and never give credit? Boy could I tell you so many stories from job after job. WHY ME?

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Hi Cheri, why not you? … Really… ask that question instead because the fact that you ask “Why Me” makes everything about you and although some people might try to make it about you, YOU are in charge of how you feel and how much control you give others over your emotions. The more personal you make things the more leverage you give others, not to mention, the more you will FEEL others are attacking you. So my suggestion is to stop asking, “Why ME?” And start with a new question, like “How can I be the best version of me in this moment?” XO

      cheri SAYS:

      Thanks so much. I keep trying and one day I might just get it right.

Annika SAYS:

I absolutely needed this Christal! The biggest tip I’m taking away from the second video is make a decision and stick with it! I find mysef second guessing everything I choose, and the guilt really creeps in. That is great advice, and I can’t wait to bring out the wise woman in me. Thank you for all you do, it really has made a difference in my life. I LOVED “How to be H.O.T.” and the wisdom you shared. I have a few friends that I recommended it to and are reading it now!
xoxo, Annika

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Thank you so much babe! I’m glad this video can help and THANK YOU for sharing the HOT book with your friends! All my love! <3

Katie O'Farrell SAYS:

‘The goal isn’t to be perfect, but to bring awareness to what is blocking our fulfilment and happiness in life’. I just love this quote Christal. X
It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea of a perfect life or being the perfect person and feeling guilty then when things aren’t going to plan or you feel you’re not doing a good enough job with your life. Which is RIDICULOUS, I know!!!
I could definitely relate to all 6 signs in some little way. Watching your video felt like pushing open the double windows onto a beautiful fresh summers day and taking a big gulp of fres air! I feel somewhat relieved to see that I can let go of a lot of those little things and expectations I’ve been carrying around with me unnecessarily. Ever-grateful to you and your work. Thank you x

Erin SAYS:

Hey! Could you please do a post or video on how to improve? How to not take things so personally? Thank you!

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Great idea! We can definitely do that! xx

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