There was a major emphasis put on equality between the sexes when the feminist movement in business started to boom in the 80’s. Shorter haircuts became trendy, shoulder pads made a woman’s shape disappear, and the power suit became a beacon for women’s rights everywhere. We saw women striving to find their position of power by abandoning their feminine energy.
Now, I’m not saying this was bad. The generations before us felt like they needed to make a bold statement to be taken seriously by the patriarchal society, but the downfall was we started to believe that in order to succeed in business, women must conform to a more masculine version of themselves. Which in a way, is still giving up our power as women. It’s like saying, “Yes, women and men can be equals, but only if women be more like men.”
Somewhere along the way, we forgot that equality means that all humans should be valued just the same regardless of gender; what it doesn’t mean is it that we have the same innate strengths.
I want to share with you the primary qualities associated with both masculine energy and feminine energy to explain these strengths.
Qualities of Masculine Energy
Drive, focus, assertiveness, and confidence tend to be seen as more masculine traits that set one up for success in business and the corporate world. Masculine energy is consciousness and solid like a river bank. His thoughts are single focused on goals, the future, security, and protection. He is most identified with his purpose and productivity in the world and loves fulfilling a mission.
Qualities of Feminine Energy
Traits that are most often associated with the feminine are things like connection, empathy, nurturing, and emoting. She is pure energy and flows and changes like the water of a river. She has a diffused awareness, thinking many things at once and she finds details and intricacies that escapes the masculine. She is born to receive. She is most identified with her feelings and craves love deeply to feel fulfilled.
The masculine likes to “do”. The feminine craves to just “be”. Now here’s the kicker… we have access to both of these energies inside each and every one of us. We need both to be balanced, but we are primarily born with one dominant form that feels most natural to us. Women are usually more feminine associated and the opposite is true for men. (In same-sex couples, usually one partner is more masculine and the other feminine in order for there to be sexual polarity.)
So what does all this mean? It means that if we are more feminine associated by nature and change to compete in the masculine dominated corporate world, then we lose some of our innate power. We forget how to be a woman. We forget how to soften once we’ve left work. This causes us to feel unbalanced, stressed and stuck. We become rigid and lose our flow. Holding onto this Miss Independent Woman energy can feel like a mask. We have a hard time connecting with others, and we start to see other women as threats.
We also attract more feminine associated men into our lives. Men that can’t step into their masculine power and meet our needs. They feel wimpy to us, lack drive, or the assertiveness that we desire. It creates an unbalanced polarity and sexual attraction can fizzle. Burn out is guaranteed when we feel constant pressure to strive and prove our equality in this way.
Here are five practices that will help you radiate feminine power and get back into your natural flow:
Dancing is a powerful practice to help you get out of your head and into your body. Find some privacy where you can dance as wildly or sensually as you like. Put on your favorite song or playlist and start off by closing your eyes, taking a few deep breaths and feeling what it feels like to be in your body. Ask yourself if this music could take form, how would it move? Then allow your body to express the music as if you are translating into a form of language.
The feminine in all of us craves to feel and see the beauty around us and in us. Adorning your space with anything that brings a smile to your face helps nurture this craving. This can be in the form of pictures, decor, or luxurious fabrics or colors. To bring beauty to our wardrobe will also help us express the feminine within. Maybe that means wearing flowy skirts with delicate sandals or rocking a sexy pair of heels with a sleek skinny leg pant.
Maybe you feel deliciously feminine in combat boots and a floral dress. Maybe it means something different every day (that’s okay too… the feminine is constantly changing)! Find your own definition of beauty and see how you feel when you express that in your clothing. It doesn’t have to mean you wear lipstick every day, but if rocking a hot shade of red allows you to feel pampered and sexy then go for it. You make the rules here.
3. “Free days”
A day of “no planning” is one of my favorite things to do to step into my feminine. Allowing ourselves to just flow and be in the moment can be one of the most relaxing feelings for the feminine. One day out of the week I schedule a self-care “free day”. This is where I make zero plans and just allow myself to do whatever I feel like from moment to moment.
The divine feminine in all of us is associated with creative energy and life force energy. Similar to the energy of flowing emotions or timelessness, the feminine craves creativity. Our wombs are designed to create life after all. Some ways I express my creativity are through crafting, painting, dancing, clothing, and crocheting. I know a lot of people that express their art in other forms though such as cooking, entertaining guests, writing, comedy or gardening. Expand your mind and see where in your life are you creating something out of nothing. It’s a common misconception that traditional “art” is the only form of creativity!
Our bodies hold a lot of power and wisdom as women. We can connect to our feelings and intuition more easily than a masculine associated person, but we need to trust our bodies and heart in order to hear these messages. One way to connect to our bodies more and get out of logical thinking is to practice incorporating more sensuality into our lives.
This means intentionally using the senses to experience life with pleasure. One way I practice sensuality is by soaking in a warm bath with essential oils. Setting the visual with candles or petals, feeling the warm water against my skin, smelling the aroma of lavender or eucalyptus, hearing the water splash against the tub, tasting a treat like dark chocolate or red wine. Any activity can become sensual if you intentionally experience it with all five senses.
When I do these feminine recharging practices regularly, I feel more radiant, replenished and attract my desires more easily into my life. It allows me to step into my masculine energy in business without feeling depleted or hardened. When we embrace our feminine nature, we nurture ourselves and the planet as a whole. It may seem counter-intuitive, but by developing our feminine energy we can actually draw in success to us, instead of constantly feeling like we need to hustle and grind.
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