Ok, since I don’t like using the term “low libido” because it sounds too archaic and we are modern women, we are going to discuss reasons why we might experience a low sex drive either in our relationships or in general.
Because, let’s be real, you don’t have to be in a relationship have a sex life. I just want to put that out there as I know a lot of ladies, still 2018, feel GUILTY for their sexual desires outside of monogamy. Let’s just rid ourselves from that narrative shall we? I talked about this in a previous episode “How soon is too soon to sleep with someone?” but as long as you are doing it for YOUR pleasure and, more importantly, in a safe way… GET YOURS BOO!
But what about the women who don’t have a sexual desire at all?
Who feel like something is wrong with them because they feel they should be in the most sexual time of their lives?
I really wanted to touch base with this because women of ALL AGES can experience HSDD (hypo active desire disorder).
Oh god! Another disorder (insert eye roll). Is this really a disorder or an opportunity? You know I’m not for anything that makes us feel like there’s something wrong with us, and truthfully, this isn’t a disorder at all. There are so many factors that play into our low-sex drive that make total sense, and today, that is what we are going to discuss.
Now, for a personal story. Andrew and I have been together for more than eight years. In that time, we have gone through sexual highs and lows. Times where I just couldn’t even fathom getting in the mood and times I was DTF all day everyday. The times I felt a low sex drive, I would freak myself out and wonder what was happening.
What’s wrong with our sex life?
Have I lost attraction?
Will he even feel wanted and loved without sex?
Is there something wrong with me?
It’s so easy to freak out when we don’t know what it’s happening. I guess It also doesn’t help when our partners have no clue either and all their sexual advances are being rejected. Nobody wins really.
Most people on the outside would probably lean towards the “just communicate to each other” advice, but what could you possibly communicate if you don’t know what the f*** is happening?
For Andrew and I, going through our own sexual highs and lows made me dive into some contributing factors I hadn’t looked at before. If there’s one thing I do well, it’s turning my personal life into a science experiment haha! (Lucky Andrew)
Remember what I said in my book How to be H.O.T?
“Become a scientist of your emotions.”
Well in this case, become of a scientist of your life. Scientist have the ability to stay curious and curiosity allows us to expand on things we’d never think to otherwise.
So here are the four contributing factors I found, not only from my own personal journey but from some of the experts I’ve asked around me.
Physical: Do you have any physical ailments? Are you on any medication that can decrease sexual desire? How are your hormonal levels? Has there been a decrease in estrogen? Are you pregnant or just have a baby? There are many physical factors that play a tole in our low-sex drive that might be a good idea spending some time investigating.
Emotional: Emotions play a huge role in our physical state, so look at stressors in your life. How is your relationship? Is there any emotional disconnection in your relationship like, distrust, lack of presence or attention, tension or resentment?
Environmental: Look around you, does your environment inspire you? Do the people you surround yourself with light you up or drain you. When your energy is depleted, the harder it is to fall into your body which brings me to my last factor…
The inability to fall into your body: This I find to be a MAJOR factor for my ladies. Too often we are stuck in our heads. (the to do’s of life, the overextension, worrying what others think, staying busy to just be busy)
Remember the interview I did with Jaiya Ma?
She not only helped me with discovering mine and Andrew’s erotic blueprint, but I also had a light bulb moment! A lot of our “low-sex drive” can be caused by unexpressed sexual desires. When we don’t understand what turns us on or how our partner gets turned on, there’s an energetic resistance, and that can and will play in the factors we discussed above.
Christal’s Erotic Blueprint:
Andrew’s Erotic Blueprint:
Find out what this all means and how to transform your sex life by taking the quiz:
I want to hear from you, what factors do you think are contributing to your low sex drive? Or are there any factors we’ve missed? COMMENT BELOW
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