How to Deal with Negative People Who are Addicted to Problems

by Christal Fuentes

In today’s episode, Christal discusses her ways of dealing with “negative” people. Problems are inevitable but attachment is a choice. She shows some productive ways of assisting people without getting attached and what our negative emotions can be calling out in us.





As I write, I am looking out at the ocean (in Kona, Hawaii) and sipping a Chardonnay. I’m not a big Chardonnay drinker but if I’m gonna have one, it has to be chilled, dry, crisp and buttery. I LOVE the Nickel and Nickel Sullenger, and the Patz & Hall Chardonnay it’s the perfect balance. It tastes better when you’re not looking at the price… EEEK!

Ok, this literally has nothing to do with today’s topic but I thought I’d let you know my current situation and since we are girlfriends and I love sharing my bougie finds sometimes.

This past week we flew 28 of our family members to Hawaii for a family vacation.


Now, this was only HALF of my family, the other half, if you remember, I spent January with in Costa Rica earlier this year.

It’s one of our greatest pleasures to spend time with our family in remote locations. I understand that this is not the norm for most, which is why I don’t take any of this for granted.

There is nothing more rewarding than being able to spoil the very people that have made my life so meaningful. Seeing the joy on their faces and the ability to connect in real time is priceless. Andrew and I had our parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins and significant others all on one trip!

SIDE NOTE: I think by now I am a PRO at family vacations and well… vacationing in general. Should we do a post on how to host a family trip? Or even a romantic getaway? LET ME KNOW BELOW!

I get emails all the time about family dynamics and as blessed as I am to have the family and extended family as I do, it would be a lie to say family dynamics don’t play a role when we are all together. But is that a bad thing? And how do we not let these dynamics trigger us?

One of the most common things I was told by the house staff on our trip was, “I’ve never seen a family that gets along so well!”

It’s true, we do. But with all family comes baggage, past stories, personality clashes and more. There will always be something that triggers us but what stops us from reacting irrationally is by loving someone through the behavior or action that triggered you.

In past episodes we’ve discussed emotional triggers at great length but I really wanted talk about how to handle the negative people around us.

Sometimes it’s not about our triggers, sometimes it’s that Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy in our life that we just can’t shake.


How are we supposed to handle people who are addicted to problems?

That’s exactly what we discuss in today’s episode.

In the comments below, I’d like to hear about your experience with a Negative Nancy. How did/does this person trigger, and what have you learned from this episode that can help you deal with them much better?


Resources
Emotional triggers: How to manage irrational emotions
Christal takes Costa Rica
The #1 Cause of Relationship Problems
10 Self sabotaging things we do in relationships
5 Ways to deal with in-laws that don’t like you
How to deal with a difficult family member
Family estrangement
The dynamics of dysfunctional relationships
Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

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Tong Xiong SAYS:

Please post up how to plan a family trip. I have been wanting to organize a family trip for so long. I am looking forward to going to Korea and want everyone to go but they will have to pay for their trip and stay,

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