How Soon Is Too Soon to Sleep with Someone?

by Christal Fuentes

Are you seeing someone you really like but having an internal battle of when it’s “appropriate” to sleep with them? You feel a really strong connection, but you don’t want to give it up too soon because you want him to respect you?

If there’s one thing that irks me most, it’d have to be people telling women when it’s “appropriate” for them to have sex. You know that advice that says:

+ Guys won’t respect you if you give it up right away.

+ If you’re looking for a real relationship, then play hard to get.

+ Giving it up right away shows the lack of self-respect you have for yourself


 Can we not please?

As well intentioned this advice might be, it’s dangerous. It creates a fear-based belief that respect is dependent on someones ability to see your worth. You waiting to sleep with them or not has nothing to do with your self-worth. NOTHING.

You already ARE worthy of respect regardless of when you choose to get intimate with someone. With that said, there’s one variable that would make having sex with someone wrong no matter how long you wait, and that’s exactly what we discuss in today’s video.

I think people forget women are also sexual creatures and should feel empowered to make sexual decisions for themselves. Please refrain from shaming. In fact, take your shame and judgments you have of sexual women, crumple it up, and burn it because it serves no one.

The best thing for everyone is for us to actively rid ourselves of the taboos we have about sex (a taboo mostly placed on women) and retire the narrative that there should be a waiting period for having sex.

[DISCLAIMER: This is advice is for consenting adults only of course]

Guess what!

If your choice is to wait to sleep together. That’s amazing!

If your choice is to have sex right away. That’s amazing!

It is an empowered decision only YOU can make. NOT a choice based off what your sexual partner is going to think of you.

Your body is yours. No one else’s.

I’ve seen beautiful and sustainable relationships spark from sex on the first night, and I’ve seen beautiful couples who chose to wait.

You know why because the sustainability factor of your relationship doesn’t come from when you choose to have sex. It comes from… shhhhh…. don’t tell everyone….


The right person regardless is going to respect you no matter what you choose. But here’s where the real issue is that no one shines a light on. Our ability to trust ourselves. Do you even trust yourself to make the right decision? That’s where the real conflict is.

And if you are stuck here, GURRRLLL we got you covered! It’s TLC’s mission to make women all over the world feel more empowered about who they are so they can make EMPOWERED decisions for themselves! So you are in the right place!

Let me know what you think of today’s video by COMMENTING your “ah-has” below! We love hearing from you!
Christal Fuentes

about the author

Christal Fuentes

Christal is the Founder of The Ladies Coach. She lives and breathes her belief which is that you can’t find fulfillment in life without mastering the art of relationships.

Kristy Petersen SAYS:

Seriously every MAN and WOMAN need to watch this video!! Love this so much!!

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    Thank you, Kristy! I agree! XO

Kara SAYS:

Love this!!! Thank you for sharing this! ???? I find my problem in my current relationship is that we are not having it enough, is that something you might talk about in the future? Or maybe an extension of this? I’ve communicated it to my boyfriend but nothing has changed.

    Christal Fuentes SAYS:

    This is DEFINITELY a topic I will be discussing! So many ladies have requested it. Thank you so much for watching XO

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