I used to believe that I would never feel worthy of love and a romantic relationship. My career was poppin’ off, but my dating life was a hot mess. I thought that love was only for “lucky” people and that I wasn’t one of them. I had a pattern of dating men who were wrong for me. They were emotionally unavailable, detached, and totally non-committal.
As you can imagine, this left me feeling extremely lonely for most of my dating life. I remember many nights coming home and crying wondering why this kept happening to me. There were countless times I stood in the mirror wiping my tears saying “What’s wrong with me?” I felt depressed and totally fell into victim mode. Until one day I woke up and decided I was completely fed up with how I felt and it was time to make a massive change.
I was ready to do something about it, so I decided to take inspired action. I got my hands on every self-help book I could find, which lead me down a path of deep inner and outer transformation. It finally clicked that I was my own solution to my problem. I was focusing so hard on the lack of love in my life, that I wasn’t bothering to love myself. By participating in the same kind of relationships over and over, I was sending out a signal to the Universe that said, “More of this please!” You see, what we accept is what we will continue to receive.
It was time for me to start saying no to what didn’t serve me, and yes to self-love and respect. Love is absolutely possible for each of us. In fact, it’s our birthright. If you’re reading this, great love is actually not only possible for you; it’s inevitable. You have to find belief in that, though, first in order for it to come about. Our beliefs can create positive momentum, and it all begins with making a few shifts.
If you’re struggling with feeling worthy of love and are ready to step into confidence, practice these 5 inspired action steps:
1. Write down 10 things you love about yourself
Once you make your list, spend time reflecting on each item you wrote. If this feels uncomfortable at first, trust the process and keep going. It’s imperative that we learn to see our value and recognize all that we have to offer. Go ahead and toss out the humble pie for this one!
2. Believe that love is possible for you!
To do this, you must rewrite the story you’ve been telling yourself. For example, in the past I caught myself thinking “There are no good men in my town!” and “Every good man is already taken.” Know that these statements are only as true as we make them. Our thoughts are powerful! Instead, I could have replaced it with, “There are plenty of good men out there, and the perfect one is looking for me too!” We will always find evidence for what we believe, so make sure your expectations are in line with what you want to experience.
3. Become love in every area of your life
Go love your family, your friends, your dog, your co-worker, etc., and while you’re at it give it out generously and as often as possible. Literally become love in all areas of your life. Leave yourself love notes on your bathroom mirror, tell a friend how much you care about them, smile at a stranger, etc. What you send out comes around back to you, and by doing this you will begin to become a magnet for love in all areas of your life.
4. Visualize being in a loving relationship
Take a few moments, close your eyes, and get super present. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Imagine what it would feel like to have the relationship of your dreams. What are some loving things you could imagine your ideal partner saying to you? How would you react to them? What’s the expression on your face? How do they look at you? What kind of things do you do together? Do they interact well with your friends and family? Get as detailed as you possibly can. You will know this practice has done the trick when you start feeling excitement and anticipation!
5. Create a mantra and post it somewhere you can see it regularly
You could write something like:
“I’m a magnet for love everywhere I go. I freely give and receive love now!”
It’s not so much the words, but the energy and emotion behind them that make mantras effective. Really stir up some amazing feelings each time you recite it!
Romantic love is absolutely possible for you. Life has simply been waiting for you to let go of the limiting beliefs holding you back from allowing it into your life. You are worthy of experiencing love no matter how many times your heart has been broken or you’ve been let down. Your belief will make it possible. The more you take inspired action steps every single day to change your story, the quicker you will kick your fears to the curb!