Christal and Chrissy sit down together to answer questions from the TLC Community. Is it ok to fantasize about people when you’re in a relationships? – How to know whether to make a friendship into a relationship – What to do when your tone of voice comes off offensive – How to gauge the commitment level in relationships – Can you change a boy into a man?
Hey babes, today, Chrissy and I are going to get your relationship questions answered. If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably already know Chrissy Cakes!
She was our Creative Director turned VP of Operations for TLC — (very very prestigious).
If you don’t know who she is, check out these past episodes with her! They are gems! We mostly just like to shoot the shit.
Anyways, she finally moved back to Las Vegas and what better way to welcome her back than to have her on another episode of Talk. Listen. Change.! We thought it would be a good idea for us to sit down together and answer questions from our community.
These questions were brilliant and I think they may resonate with you.
Here are some of the questions we will be covering:
(Please note: we will never share the identity of our ladies who submit questions. I’m sharing the full question in its entirety because I believe CONTEXT is important. And in the episode you will hear some insight from these questions you may have not gotten otherwise)
1: I am 19 years old and still dating my boyfriend of one year. I have come a long way since I started dating him because I was always afraid of commitment. I definitely love him, however, I often feel we will either spend the rest of our lives together which seems natural and good, but I also realize we are very young and have a lot of time ahead of us. I often have fantasize getting together with guys from work. I think I form crushes quickly but the thought of starting something with another one of these guys excites me. I don’t know if I should pursue something or stay with my current boyfriend and I’m not sure what my heart is telling me. If you could give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it!
2: There is a guy I have a crush on, he is my friend and we’ve spent a lot of time together lately, the problem is I don`t know if he feels the same way or only considers me a friend. I’m thinking about asking (I also don’t want to lose him as a friend), I need to do something because I’m tired of being in this situation not knowing really what he wants. What should I do? Thank you!
3: I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years because he had cheated on me twice and I just realized I deserved better and it wasn’t working and I had no trust for him and it was so toxic. We made a mutual decision it was best to walk away. The hardest part for me was walking away from his family, his family was one of the main reasons I wanted to stay. I was so close with his family, his brothers were like my own and his sister was like my own, even closer than my own at times. I had the best times with them, talking, laughing, traveling. I can’t help but miss his family so much and it makes me feel so sad and even guilty towards my new partner for missing my exes family? I don’t miss my ex and I’m so happy that it’s over and I’m proud of my self for walking away but the breakup with his family has been worse than the breakup of the relationship. I have realized I need to move on but do you have any tips? They were a huge part of my life and now they are just gone. I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
4: I was in a 6.5 year relationship and ended up being cheated on the past year or so. It was tough, so I found myself single for quite some time which ended up being a really great thing for me. Now, I’ve been seeing this guy for about 9 months. I really care about him and he knows it, but I’m not sure how he feels. We definitely have very different ways of showing we care for people, but I’m okay with that because he still does things that show me he does care (sometimes). He’s so nonchalant and lackadaisical with our relationship that I’m not sure what to do or say. I don’t want to keep bringing it up, but I turned 30 this year. While marriage isn’t necessarily my end goal or the end all be all, I want to make sure that we’re both in this for a committed relationship and I’m not wasting time. Being upfront and confrontational is extremely difficult for me. Any suggestions?
5: For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an issue with my tone coming across much harsher than I intend or realize. It’s impacted my friendships and work. I honestly try my hardest to be much more thoughtful with how I say things, pause before I speak and try to be light but I’m still constantly running into this issue. I’m so tired and frustrated that as much as I work on this I’m still dealing with people telling me I’m unapproachable and intimidating. Both of those are quite the opposite of who I am. Any advice?
6: My fiance & I have been together going on 4 years, in the beginning, & middle of our relationship an ex of his kept saying her kid was his. He convinced me that she was crazy & it was proven that he wasn’t the father. About 2 months ago his ex-got in touch with me & sent pictures of this child which immediately made me realize that this little boy looks exactly like my fiance. She also proceeds to send screenshots of their messages back & forth over the past 3 years & while we have been together this whole time, he had been sending flirtatious comments, asking to be a family, etc.. I confront him, he admitted & explained that he was sorry & that the last inappropriate message was over a year ago. He was confused wondering if that was the right thing to do. Honestly, that’s how it should be, BUT like I told him, he should have broken it off with me first not went behind my back.
So, now, he has met his son via video chat (which I begged him to do) despite everything else. I’ve bought his son clothes & stuff to send. I talk with the mother & am included respectfully, but I get bad vibes here & there… how should I go about this situation? There’s so much more to it.
Do any of these questions resonate? I certainly found myself in #5. There had been times when I thought I was helping someone but my energy and tone didn’t match my “intention.” Which became very hurtful to the ones I loved without realizing what was happening. In today’s episode, I will go into why that is and how to begin shifting your energy so that our “tone” is a little less offensive.
Also, here are some resources I think can help you go further into these topics:
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