4 Steps to Self-Love and Forgiveness After a Breakup - The Ladies Coach
 

4 Steps to Self-Love and Forgiveness After a Break-Up

by Madison Deakin

Everyone talks about the person that broke their heart. What about the person who broke the rest of us? The person who shook us to our core. The person who treated us so badly we thought that’s what we deserved? The person who didn’t think we were worthy of being a priority, so now we don’t prioritize ourselves. Who is that really needs forgiveness after a breakup?

I know sometimes it’s easier to blame someone else, but are we also guilty for letting them treat us this way?  I’m just as much to blame as he is. Maybe that’s why I treat myself so badly sometimes? Maybe that’s the reason I justify eating unhealthy food even though I’m trained to know better.

I’ve let someone, and myself, treat me like that’s all I deserved. 

I used to think that there is nothing better than having a realization. I can make a realization about other people’s behavior all I want, but if I don’t realize that I am part of the problem and take responsibility for that, it will never end. So instead of punishing myself, why can’t I just forgive myself and treat myself with the love I deserve? After all, how can I expect someone to love and cherish me if I don’t do that for myself?

So today, I forgive myself. Today, I nourish and move my body, I take responsibility for the way I treated myself and above all, I start loving myself and encourage you ladies do the same.

Here are 4 steps that helped me discover self-love and forgiveness after a breakup:

1. Take responsibility

Are you someone who hates being wrong? It is hard enough when our mistakes are right there in front of us, too obvious to miss, but have you ever dug deep and thought about whether you were partly responsible for something perhaps less obvious? Take responsibility.

You’re a human being and we aren’t always going to get it right and we certainly aren’t always going to know what we are doing at the moment. When it comes to loving ourselves, there is no room for punishing ourselves.

2. Treat yo self

No, I don’t mean inhaling that block of chocolate (haven’t we all been there). Treat your self by nourishing your body. After all, that is the greatest form of self-respect you can give yourself. Logically, there’s nothing in that whole block of chocolate that is doing us any good right?

Treating yourself is fine every now and again, but when we start to tell ourselves that we deserve that pack of doughnuts every night after a long day, we are telling ourselves that we don’t deserve the best fuel and nourishment. We are confused about what our body actually wants. Its all about that balance!

3. Stop following their social media

As long as you’re putting energy into the person who hurt you, you will be feeling that pain. Its almost like we are punishing ourselves by looking at what they’re up too. Again, there is no room for self-punishment and it’s time to let go of that pain. Refrain from putting any energy into things that aren’t bringing happiness and peace into your life, being happy because your ex-has gained weight isn’t the true happiness we should aim to seek.

4. Forgive

Can we just say that again? FORGIVE! Forgive the people who have hurt you. By forgiving those people, you’re taking your happiness into your own hands and taking back control. That anger you had towards them isn’t affecting them, it’s affecting you. Stop letting those people live rent-free in your mind and start giving that free space to people who truly deserve it and who bring you peace and love.

resources
5 WAYS TO HEAL FROM A BREAKUP
CLIMBING OUT OF BREAKUP HELL: 5 TIPS TO START HEALING YOUR BROKEN HEART
CAN YOU REALLY BE FRIENDS AFTER A BREAKUP?
FROM SOULMATE TO ROOMMATE: HOW TO EASE THE PAIN OF LIVING WITH AN EX AFTER A BREAKUP

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Madison Deakin

about the author

Madison Deakin

Madison is a passionate writer, self taught cook, clinical nutritionist and recipe developer.

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Kristy Petersen SAYS:

This is actually everything I need to do. I know I do just sometimes I wallow in my own pitty party! But time to take control and be responsible for my part and forgive.. I need to forgive.
Kristy xx

    Brina SAYS:

    Same here Kristy! All day I’m just so sad about the sadness. I struggle to find the good in the day. I need to love myself and forgive him.

Kerry SAYS:

Thank you so much for this article! It’s everything and more that i need to hear right now. ????

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